


Saviour Of Darkness

by FromThePinnacleToTheFridge



Category: Captain America (Movies), Deadpool (2016), Spider-Man - All Media Types, X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Bruce Banner Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Denial, Hydra (Marvel), Jarvis (Iron Man movies) is a Good Bro, Multi, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Parent Pepper Potts, Pietro Maximoff Lives, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Protective Steve Rogers, SPOILERS...duh!, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Super Soldier Serum, Tony adopts Peter, Up all night to get Bucky, Wade Saves Peter, Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2018-08-11 14:25:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 40,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7896094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FromThePinnacleToTheFridge/pseuds/FromThePinnacleToTheFridge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few months after, the events of Civil War, T'challa has found a way to heal the mind of James Barnes with a little (Okay a lot) of help from Tony. After his part-recovery, both super soldiers are called in for one final battle against Hydra. (Disclaimer: I do not own any characters but the OC/s)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A visit from an old friend

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyyy so iv'e been reading a lot of Stucky fanfics recently and after coming up with some ideas i thought i could write one of my own. Please enjoy ^_^

"Mr. Rogers...MR.ROGERS!" Steve was yanked up from his bed and quickly awakened from his shallow slumber to find himself sat up in front of the last person he wanted to see right now... Stark. The first thought that came to mind was Bucky and Steve's mind went into overload. Almost in a flash, he jumped up and slammed Tony into the nearby wall, a hand on each shoulder, trapping him between the wall and Steve.

"Ung-" Tony gasped as the air was knocked out of him. He had no idea how much Steve was suffering until now. Sure Tony himself was suffering too, and he still wasn't completely over the death of his parents, but at least he had (with much thought, and him feeling sorry for himself whilst Pepper had practically put everything on hold to help him understand) forgiven Bucky. He was as much of a victim as Tony himself and.... his parents. It was clear to him now, that Steve, who had forgiven Bucky a long time ago, was not suffering over that. The unanswered question blossomed within Tony's mind, what else had he not forgiven? after the many calls and letters, surely even Steve understood that Tony and the rest of the gang forgave him. He was feeling guilt, yes but he was also feeling something else that always came hand in hand. Denial.

"Steve-it's-okay" Tony attempted to speak calmly whilst regaining his breath. Steve's baby blue eyes widened in horror and the realisation of what he was doing hit him harder than the bullies back home in Brooklyn... he internally laughed. Brooklyn would never be his home anymore. He had no home, he didn't belong anywhere now. Steve, still realising that he had Tony in a minor painful death grip let go. Tony's eyes met his once more and he could see the tears forming from the tear ducts of the super soldier. "Its okay Steve" Tony whispered, slowly walking toward Steve and despite their difference in size, gave him a rather uncommon but successful hug. As if on cue, Steve began to bawl, letting the fears, tears, dreams and nightmarish thoughts escape from his tortured mind. His tall frame shaking violently with each sob until finally he managed to compose himself once more.

Putting on his best smile, he moved out of Tony's arms and beamed at the older (or younger?) man. He was almost in every way like his father, however Tony had managed to dodge the curve ball of alcoholism unlike his father. Tony looked back at him with an encouraging smile. 

"It-its really good to have you back Tony... and about the whole Bucky situation-" Steve was interrupted by Tony handing him his Captain America shield.  
"Listen, Cap. It's forgiven. I just wanted to apologise for the way i acted. You know me being the expert in thermonuclear astrophysics, i would have a bit of restraint or even logical thinking..."  
"Tony, it's okay. If i was in your situation i'm sure i would have acted the same way somewhat."

"Ahh, i'm glad to see another friendship healing." T'challa said whilst inspecting the dent in the plaster of the wall. "Tony stark. Welcome to Wakanda!"

~~~~~~~~~~~

"So he says, wait that wasn't a pineapple?!" Tony finished telling his joke. Both he and T'challa burst out laughing whilst Steve sat there for a moment trying to figure it out. "Yes! I get the reference!" Steve announced in triumph.  
"Your mother and I are so proud" Tony said pointing to T'challa who laughed and waved him off. Then he turned in his seat and looked over to Steve who looked back with a confused expression.  
"Tony, i think it is time" he said calmly which earned him a now almost frightened look from Steve who was beginning to fear the worst. "Steve, it's been what four months since Bucky went back on the ice-" a sharp intake of breath sounded from Steve. Tony hesitated for a moment before carrying on. "It's been four months Steve and i...i mean we" he said motioning to T'challa "think we have found a way to 'heal' him"

Steve was speechless. His heart felt like it was going to explode. Four months. Four months of absolute hell, with only his mind's feeble attempts to keep him sane. He felt suffocated and the ice that had formed around his heart gave way and melted, ridding him of his much appreciated numbness. "Your highness, Tony. Please excuse me." Steve bowed before running back to his room. He locked the door and slid down the rectangle of wood, curling in on himself. He knew it was going to be hard. He had been ready to accept that nothing could be done for his dear friend... did that make him a bad person? He looked up to the ceiling. He had to chose-Keep Bucky under the ice and content, or be selfish and try to fix his friend knowing that doing this came with the risk of doing even more damage to poor Bucky and making him go through this again.

"With you till the end of the line..." he whispered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Tony turned to face T'challa with an apologetic look. T'challa understood the situation enough to know that it wasn't Steve's intention to act this way.  
“So, how is Steve really doing?” Tony prodded. T'challa on one hand didn't want to answer for the fear that he would betray Steve by talking about him behind his back, however, another side of him knew how much Steve was struggling and he would take full responsibility if anything happened to Steve. He didn't want to admit it but he appreciated Steve a lot, he told him of how things used to be, of different places other than his glorious Wakanada, but most of all, Steve reminded him of his father. Loyal, courteous and honourable. The man was growing on him.

“He hasn't been doing great Tony, he is acting as if...” T'challa stopped at the thought.  
“As if what?” Tony said a sounding a bit too impatient.  
“As if he were mourning.” The words danced around Tony's mind. But Bucky wasn't dead, so why would Steve be mourning? “No. You're wrong” Tony said sounding unconvinced by his own words.  
“Think about it, you wake up as a man out of time, without anyone you loved or knew in the future, and then you find your best friend has been brainwashed into becoming your supposed enemy, and then when you think you have them back you lose this person for the second time, the only link to your past, the only possible entity on this earth that you can call home. If we lose Bucky I fear we may also lose Steve. I don't think Steve would be able to cope with losing him for the third and possibly final time, do you?”

“Well, then we had better get it right first time” Tony said, determined to help fix his broken Cap, no matter what it took.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

His heart felt like it was fit to burst. The last time he had felt this many emotions was after he lost Bucky on the train... however, this time he didn't have the alcohol available to drown his sorrows. Nor did he have Peggy to cheer him up. Oh how he missed her smile, her sassy attitude and the way she would tease him over his admiration of this mysterious 'Barnes' character that he would never stop talking about. He hated himself for not missing her as much as he missed Bucky. For getting over her death as quick as he did. He was ashamed, he had failed her...she must have waited for hours for him to return for their 'date'. He had broken his promise...

With a deep inhale of breath, the super soldier made his way back to room which he had recently vacated. He hesitated for a moment before pushing the door handle and making his way inside. Instead of finding himself being scolded by Tony for his rudeness he found himself looking into an empty room.

“Ahem” a voice came from behind him making him turn on his heel to face a rather ferocious looking woman.  
“Yes?” he asked, cautious of the woman who he had only seen a handful of times whilst living in the building.  
“The King has requested that you join him in the Laboratory” She spoke with confidence and guided Steve to the Lab which Steve had already visited many times, to see Bucky.

The Blonde found himself the centre of attention as he made his way over to Tony and T'challa. The other scientists looked at him with a glimmer of pity in their eyes. He couldn't take much more of their staring and instead averted his gaze to his friends. He gave them a weak smile in the hope that they wouldn't bring anything too personal up whilst in the presence of all of these strangers.

“Say, Steve there is someone I would like you to meet” Tony's eyes lit up as he looked behind the blonde man to an old friend.  
“Bruce?” Steve gasped as he turned to face the person who was grasping his left shoulder. It was good to see him again.  
“Has anyone here heard of Arking?”


	2. Arking?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce Banner and his team of mysterious scientist have came up with a way of helping Bucky.

A few of the scientists in the room apprehensively raised their gloved hands. Bruce was rather impressed and made a mental note to congratulate T'challa and his scientists for being a thousand times more responsive than some of the corrupt scientists controlled by the top corporations.

“Bruce, where have you been?” Steve asked.  
“On a hiatus of sorts... I found a way to work with the big guy instead of against and it seems to be working in my favour.” the doctor smiled. That was relief to hear, and Steve hoped that maybe one day Bruce could go back to Natasha once everything was cleared up. On the subject of Arking, Steve didn't have a clue what Banner was talking about and felt rather embarrassed that he was the only one out of his friends who hadn't raised his hand.

“Um, Doctor Banner, what is arking?” A science intern asked sheepishly, also feeling left out of the cloud like Steve. In one swift movement and the touch of a button, the entire room went dark, save for the projector screen. The first slide appeared and showed a simplified diagram of the brain and the different sections. Bruce moved his pointer towards the different parts.  
“The brain although a magnificent organ is also very complicated. Our memories aren't just stored all in one place, no, instead our memories are spread out and connected by these neurons that I like to call bridges, for explanation sake.” He said as he switched the slide which now contained a diagram of a neuron. “Now if we want to erase memories that is pretty straight forward if you want to erase large chunks of memory instead of specific ones we just reprogram the brain by removing these bridges. But in this case, we can't afford to lose these vital chunks of memories and thus we must delve deeper into the brains structure to do this.”

A few of the scientists began making notes whilst the others mumbled between themselves. Then a hand went into the air. Bruce looked over to them and nodded his head to let them speak, he looked as if he was enjoying himself. Perhaps once they cleared him he could go onto teach or even work at Stark industries. However, as much as he would have loved to carry on with his more than hopeful train of thought, flashing images of himself in hulk proof shackles, sniper rifle dots focused on the positions of his vital organs... Nat.

“Doctor Banner, how do we know this? And it isn't possible to erase specified memories, trust me, after the Byarkhall incident the top scientists deemed it unpractical and that it should have just stayed as a theory.” Banner smiled at the young woman, who seemed to be convinced it was impossible.  
“ Over the past year or so whilst I was on the run I was welcomed by a group of researchers called Wissen and they are here today” Bruce said motioning to a small group to his right, which Steve hadn't noticed had been stood there the whole time.  
“Our research has shown, for the first time ever, that memories are stored in specific brain cells based on the nature of the memory. We think that by triggering a small cluster of neurons that we can force the subject to recall and change a specific memory. Usually by removing these neurons, the subject would lose that memory and all of the others in its general vicinity, but by doing this new process we can erase a specific memory and not the other vital ones it was stored with... however, after the mentioned Byarkhall incident, we can no longer use the original method. As it would be too dangerous. Instead we have after much debate and animal testing, found a method that could work to fix the subjects mind.” Steve took a quick intake of breath at the label of 'subject'. Was that all Bucky was to them now, a guinea pig that they could test on. He was about to interrupt when Bruce started talking again.

“Arking is the process of....” Steve tuned out for a little while, and found himself walking into the room next door. Buckys room. He shut the door behind him and turned the dim light switch on. For the first three months after Bucky had gone under, Steve stayed with Bucky twenty for hours a day, mostly awake and only sleeping when he absolutely had to. That's when the nightmares started again, the freight car... the cold, Bucky falling. Steve's failure to protect his friend. It was all of his fault. If he had just been stronger and quicker, he could have avoided all of this. He was weak, but now was not the time to wallow in self pity and desperation like he had been doing for the past seventeen weeks. Now was the time to face reality and be strong if not for himself but for Bucky, so if he did pull through, he wouldn't need to worry about Steve. He raised his hand and touched the glass that encased the frozen man, he yearned to see those bright eyes looking back at him and the menacing smile that would tell Steve that everything would be fine. Instead, all he saw from the frosted glass was a peaceful expression on the face of his buddy.

Steve's mind reminded him of the first time they met. They were just little kids, Steve constantly ill, yet always with enough energy to fight back when the bullies zoned in on him. He remembered the fight going too far and he was left wheezing on the floor next to a dumpster in one of the back alleys of Brooklyn, his house only a few blocks away. The fear of not being able to breath fully as every breath brought on a stronger and painful pull on his ribs. He remembered seeing a boy his age, less sickly looking than him, come to his rescue as he blacked out. After he woke up In the hospital, with a worried mother watching over him as much as she could before she had to go to work to pay for his hospital bills and keep them afloat, the same boy would visit him, bringing him fruit and once even a tattered book which he would read during his long stay in the ward. After that incident, Bucky accompanied him anywhere and everywhere. They became inseparable.

With a sad smile etched onto his face, he made his way back into the main laboratory. Where bruce was finishing off his explanation of the brain and ways to alter it.

“What is this Byarkhall incident you speak of?” Steve asked, curious to know what happened. Tony and Bruce exchanged a look before Tony started to speak.  
“The Byarkhall incident happened when a scientist by the name of Fredriech Rufus Byarkhall developed Alzheimer's back in the 80's. He was a very smart man and feared that with the disease, he would lose his memories and in turn lose his ideas. He was relatively young-” Bruce carried on the explanation.  
“He was thirty nine, which is rather young to have such a disease although it is very possible to get it at a younger age. He decided that with his expertise he could find a way to halt if not cure his condition, at least until he had written down all of his mental notes. However, to do that he had to exterminate certain memories that were taking up his vital memory space which the disease was quickly consuming and weakening. In the end he tried to do this practically with no mental stimulation and he died a few weeks after his 'operation' due to a blood clot In his brain that was caused by the stress of the operation on his brain cells and severed neurons causing his brain to forget simple things causing him to not be able to feel pain, his sense of smell disappeared and he developed blindness in one eye.” Bruce said matter of factly.  
“His problem was that he relied to much on the practical side of healing and not mental. That's where 'Arking' comes into play. We do half practical work on Buckys mind and the other half metal stimulation to erase these memories and thus delete the coding of his triggers once and for all” Tony finished.

“And how many times has this been tested exactly?” Steve asked, despite already having a good idea of what the answer would be. Bruce and Tony both looked anxiously at T'challa who refused to answer for them.  
“Never” Tony said in an inaudible mumble,  
“Excuse me?” Steve asked, the anger clearly present in his voice.  
“Never” Bruce half shouted. He and Tony didn't expect Steve to go through with it but at least it was a start right?


	3. Grapes anyone?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce explains some things and Steve has a major event.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yesssssss I got two chapters up in one day! I just have so much story and ideas that its taking me a while to get em down, oh also thanks for the Kudos! ^_^

“Can I sleep on it?” Steve finally said after a long moment of silence. Tony and Bruce's face lit up, whilst T'challa looked at Steve with a glint of something else in his eyes. Steve raised his eye brow waiting for his answer.  
“Yes, of course.” T'challa said sympathetically ushering Steve out of the room. After the kings exit, the rest of the company left leaving Tony and Bruce alone. They smiled at each other, however the smile instead of expressing happiness, showed their discomfort of the situation.

“Tony, you know if there was another way I wouldn't have suggested we use this method” Bruce pleaded whilst Tony began to eat some of his grapes he had brought, hoping for a show from Cap which never happened. The older man gave Banner a 'are you serious?' look. Of course he knew that if Bruce had found a better way he would have used that instead. Had he ever been this apologetic before? It seemed in the past year everyone had changed greatly, and even he had. However, Bruce, he seemed to be going through a good change, and a hopefully he wouldn't kill him when he found out that Natasha was also here... although, this time Tony brought her here for Steve's sake and not to try and convince the bigger guy to go wild like he had when he first met the Doctor before they went against Loki. Tony decided to tell Bruce now, because as much as he wanted to, he couldn't trust Bruce to keep the big guy under control and figured that a trashed laboratory was better than the halls which held millions of dollars worth of antiques and furniture being decimated, not to mention the possible risk of lives being lost.   
“I know” He said, guilt very clearly present in his tone, which immediately caught the attention of Banner.

“What is it?” He asked.  
“Bruce, I know this is a sensitive subject, but I need to tell you before you find out by other means and no offence, go on a rampage.” Bruce laughed at the last part of Stark's words.  
“Why do I feel as if you have an even more powerful electrical rod to shock me with? I did tell you last time when we were fighting the Chitauri that it wouldn't work.” He smiled. Tony however didn't return the expression.  
“It's Natasha, she is here. I tried to leave without being noticed but you know how she is and she convinced me to let her come, for Steve's sake. T'challa told me he hasn't been the same and I wanted to bring him someone who could distract him from all of this mess.” Bruce stayed calm. Deep down he was unsure of what to feel, the bigger guy seemed as puzzled as him.  
“And you are telling me this because?” He asked. Tony sighed in relief that he hadn't transformed.  
“Well... you and Nat had a thing going on....”  
“We.. It's”  
“and don't even try to deny it” Tony raised his voice.”Its cool Bruce, but I suggest if you want to keep her, you are going to have to be honest with her. Her usual exterior tells me she doesn't care but deep down Bruce she is really hurting.” Bruce was about to reply when an old man burst in carrying a FedEX package.  
“I got a package here for Mr.Stank”

~~

“I don't mean to be rude, your highness but we have been walking around in circles for an hour now..” Steve said... he didn't get a reply. T'challa was beginning to worry, when she turned the corner and gave a large grin to him and Steve, who ran up to her embracing her in hug. From over Steve's shoulder she subtly nodded to T'challa and with that he left to attend to more pressing matters.

“How are you doing Cap?” Natasha smiled. Steve had no idea how her smile could brighten his mood every time. He remembered meeting her for the first time, Fury had introduced him to S.H.I.E.L.D and Natasha had taken him under her wing. Updating him on the latest trends, laws and foods of the future, for a while they had practically lived in Tony's home cinema. She reminded him of Peggy, the bright hair and the facial expressions definitely stood out. She looked great too. Natasha noted he bags under Steve's eyes and his fast pulse. He looked like hell, she had never seen him this bad before. He looked down at the floor and she recognised this as a warning sign that he was thinking deeply, which wasn't allowed at least whilst she was here. She came here to distract him and that's what she was going to do. Grabbing his hand in hers she walked off dragging him with her.

“Follow me” She instructed. She, however, ended up getting them both lost in the maze outside. It was mid afternoon and the weather was mostly sunny. She turned to Steve, who was mostly occupied with figuring out where the hell they were. She let go of his hand and sat down onto the gravel. Steve followed in pursuit.  
“How did you get here?” he asked.  
“I found Tony getting ready to leave and 'convinced' him to take me with” She said looking innocently at Steve whilst putting emphasis on 'convinced'.  
“Fess up.” Steve laughed.  
“Okay... I threatened to tell Pepper that he had drank the last of her 1998 Krug wine.” She smirked.  
“Wait isn't that the really expensive one? That she specifically told everyone to keep their paws off including him?”  
“$3132 dollars to be exact” They both burst out with laughter. Then Steve saw something in his peripheral vison. He shot up, told Natasha he would be back and ran off to follow it, unaware he was travelling deeper into the maze.

“Wait!” He shouted as he finally caught up to the figure. The tall person had a hoodie on and had stopped faced the other direction, not allowing Steve to see it's face. The frame of the person looked familiar but he couldn't put his finger on who it was. That was until the figure turned around and pulled down the hood of their hoodie.

Speechless, Steve couldn't believe his eyes. His body started to shake violently and his stomach was doing somersaults.   
BUCKY! As much as he wanted to move towards him Steve's body had frozen into place. No, it couldn't be the real Bucky. After all, he was on ice and there was no way he could be out here staring at Steve in this way. Was he having a nightmare again? Did he fall asleep talking to Natasha? All he could do was move his eyes and lips.

“Wh-what are you?” Steve said through shaky breaths, for a split second he felt like his younger, weaker self.  
“Hello, Stevie” the thing smiled. No this wasn't his Bucky... as much as he wanted to believe it was.  
“Steeeeviiee, im fixed, would'ya look at that... i'm not the broken one here. You are buddy.” He said happily whilst walking towards the blonde. Steve felt like he was being suffocated as the thing took step after step, getting even closer until he was directly in front of Steve, their chests touching. Steve's breath hitched in his throat at the realisation of how close he was to this thing. He let out a whimper as he saw a metal hand rise up to touch his cheek. He had to break out of this..this trance that he was stolen into. He closed his eyes and with all of his might, he screamed like he had never screamed before, the only competitor was the screech he let out seeing Bucky fall from the train. 

Everything went silent. The thing was gone and he fell to his knees, moments later a large crowd of people came rushing towards him, Tony, Bruce, Nat and even T'challa were sprinting towards him. Their faces showcased utter shock at the state of Steve. His eyes were bloodshot, his skin ghostly pale and his body trembling like an earthquake. But yet he couldn't hear them, the only sound that made sense was the beating of his heart. He closed his eyes and opened them once more to find that he hadn't dreamt any of it. He noticed a hand being extended towards him and took it. The slender hand joined to a slender arm and revealed the owner as Natasha. Steve felt relieved that his friends had come to help him in his time of need.

“Steve” Tony said slowly.  
“I'm fine. I am sorry to have worried you all, I must just be really tired.” He said trying to sound convincing to the crowd. Those who didn't know him may have been convinced but his friends knew better but didn't push on the matter any further and let Natasha escort him to his room.


	4. A Flow of Gold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Natasha spend some well overdue time together.

Despite his dizziness and staggering they managed to make their way to Steve's room. By then it was early evening and the sun was about to set. Natasha tried to steady him as she sat him onto his bed. Once she was sure he wouldn't topple over and fall onto the floor, she walked over to the balcony doors and opened them fully to let some much needed air in. Did super soldiers even get sick? She thought to herself. Perhaps if Vision were here he could do a better diagnostic on Steve, but the circumstances being how they were, no one else was available. She took one more deep breath of air before walking back into Steve's small room. She herself was staying in one much larger next door and wondered why Steve had opted to take the smallest room they had.

The truth was, that Steve felt he was already a burden on them, and didn't want to cause any more hassle when it came to living arrangements, if he could even call the state he was in 'living', plus he had managed to survive in a much smaller room back in his and Bucky's apartment before his friend went off to War. The shabby wallpaper peeling from the walls in a desperate attempt to be free from such a place. Sure, it was cold in the winter (which didn't help Steve's condition) and there were cockroaches in the bathroom sometimes, the front door was hazardous and the small patch of shared garden was wildly overgrown, but that didn't halt him or Bucky. It was cheap. In the winter Bucky who always had the body temperature of an active volcano would wrap Steve up like a Christmas present, they would study the cockroaches and later name them, imagining them as their rather odd pets, the front door kept them amused, when one waited to hear a screech from the other as the door had a tendency to close faster than you could move your hands away from the gap. A few bruises but no broken bones and they would explore the small overgrown jungle, later tending to it and trying to grow unsuccessful tomatoes.

Bucky was there for him when his mother died. He was by his side as she took her last breath, he was the shoulder to cry on. He was the only one who made Steve feel important in a world where he felt useless, and had conscription not happened during the war he was confident that Bucky would have stayed in Brooklyn with Steve, in a place they both called home. Although even then, Steve probably would have felt bad about being the barrier between Bucky and his dreams and needs. In all honesty, Steve knew that Bucky was the perfect soldier material, tall, strong, a good moral compass. Which Steve had witnessed first hand, whether it was fighting with or against him. Maybe one day they could live like that again? Steve had a nagging feeling, however, that there was a possibility that if Bucky did survive this that he would leave Steve and make a better life for himself and as much as it hurt to think that, Steve would be content at the knowledge that his best friend was able to properly live and if that meant that he would be cast into the shadow of Bucky's mind, Steve would happily vanish from his thoughts.

Natasha stood their for a few moments and watched Steve's facial expression gradually change from a small tug at the corner of his lips to his small smile flipping into a frown. It wasn't ideal, but at least he didn't have that terrified look on his face from earlier. Had he seen something that he shouldn't have? Was he having flashbacks? How did she let him get into this state. Well, she was still reeling from Bruce running away... and she hoped that now he was surrounding himself with people again, that he could now tame himself so she didn't have to as she was sure that hit his pride. Deep down she knew that the big guy would never fatally hurt her but Bruce didn't have the same trust.

“Steve” Natasha said firmly breaking both herself and him out of their thoughts. He looked up at her. His stomach made a whale noise and she pulled her phone out and quickly texted Tony to send some food over. Once she had sent the message she sat down next to him and began rubbing his back as if she were consoling a small child.  
“What did you see?” She asked but didn't get an answer. He didn't look like he wanted to talk about it, so she left it, but she wasn't going to let it slide that easily. The pair jumped at the sound of someone knocking on the room door. The food was here, and so was Tony. Natasha pulled the food tray in, winked at Tony and then shut the door on him. He pouted in defeat and slowly made his way back to where Bruce, T'challa and the mad scientists were. He didn't hold it against Nat though, if anyone could get the truth out of Steve it was her.

“Steve, would you like some Lentil soup?” She asked, whilst handing him a bowl of the liquid and solid mix of potatoes, lentils, carrots and spring onion. She said it more in the tone of a command rather than a question. Steve, who was starving gratefully took it and began to eat it. She switched the large television on and got comfy sitting on the bed next to Steve. All they needed now was a good movie. Natasha being Natasha had already come prepared and had brought a few films she felt were fitting for the situation. She placed her soup on the bedside table and rummaged through her backpack which she had placed in his room earlier, fearing he would need some serious distracting. She had brought five movies.   
“You wanna watch a film?” She was glad to see Steve's face light up at the suggestion.  
“What are the choices?” He smiled.  
“We have, 'The Breakfast Club', ' 1984's Footloose',' A walk to remember', 'The Shinning' and 'Stand by me'...” His smile grew wider.  
“Wow, Nat you spoil me, ahh life decisions... I like the sound of the Shinning...” Natasha was hoping he would chose that film and laughed at how much they had in common despite how far apart they were in terms of past and present.

“Oh wait here is one of the really creepy bits” She said, just as the 'pretty' naked lady who was hugging the weird looking dude (Who Steve, as much as he tried could not remember his name) turned into an old woman causing the man with the crazy eyebrows to run out of the bathroom. The movie had so far surpassed his expectations and Nat's commentary helped him to understand parts which if he watched this by himself he wouldn't have a clue about. During the last section of the film there was a temporary error with the disc and Natasha had to reconfigure the settings on the Television, with blue screen appearing advising the user to allow at least a half hour for the system to start working again. Now, Steve felt, was the perfect time to tell Natasha exactly what he saw.

“I saw Bucky.” He said aloud. Nat snapped her head to his direction. Of everything she had thought of this was a new scenario to her brain. She was quiet for a moment trying to figure out what to say without causing any more mental strain to Steve. She didn't want to prod and decided to let Steve tell her if he wanted to.  
“Okay.” He looked relieved.  
“He walked right up to me Nat, he-it looked so real as if it was really there” He let himself relax for a moment before continuing.  
“He said he was fixed. And that I was really the broken one. He touched my cheek and it felt so vivid and... I knew it wasn't him. I was frozen in place and I wanted him to stop. I wanted IT to stop and so I screamed. I have only ever screamed to that extent once before and both times I felt the same wounding and numbing pain.” He exhaled and inhaled trying to keep his emotions under check. Nat grabbed his hands in hers and tried her best to keep him calm. Her heart went out to him.  
“I think i'm going insane” Nat shook her head.  
“Steve, if anything you are the most sane person here besides me. When was the last time you slept for longer than a few hours? What you saw wasn't the real Bucky, you were hallucinating. And so what if you are a little broken, we all are.” Steve looked so innocent and fragile.  
“I can't afford to be broken Natasha. I have to be strong for Bucky, for you for everyone else and I am really trying my hardest.” Natasha knew the feeling of trying to be strong when your heart just wanted to accept that your time being the strong one was over. She shifted in her position to be face to face with the blonde.

“You know the Japanese have a practice called 'Kintsugi' where, instead of throwing away broken pottery, they fix it by filling in the cracks with gold... and in the end the pottery turns out more beautiful looking than if it were to stay fully intact. The gold which shows its imperfections and past is also what makes it the more alluring and stunning. Honestly, if I were a piece of pottery, i'd rather have been broken and fixed than stayed in my perfect state.” Steve, thought about it for a moment and Natasha was right. If Steve hadn't of been broken by the departure of Bucky then he wouldn't have become the super soldier he is today and be surrounded by his amazing friends as well as extending Bucky's life as if he hadn't changed then Bucky was sure to have died from the tests those crazy lunatics tried on him the first time Bucky saw the new him.


	5. Playing Cupid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony is as shifty as always and the team are oblivious of the fact that Steve had already made his mind up months ago.

“Goodnight, Nat” Steve yawned, worn out from the days events. Natasha gave him another hug and left his room. Before she could push down on the door handle that opened her room door a vibration came from her pocket. She groaned and unlocked her cellphone to see who had messaged her. She figured it was probably Clint, testing out some of his riddles on her. Yes, had had taken up trying to solve riddles now that he had some spare time. Clint had messaged her, but it was the contact above that she didn't expect to have texted her. It was Bruce.

 

Hey, um Tony asked me to tell you that he needs you here at the lab,   
something about a report on an interrogation. He would have sent it   
but he handily, in his words,'misplaced his phone'. I think he did it  
on purpose...see you in a few minutes?

-Banner

 

Her heart felt as if it had leaped out of her chest and for a brief moment a wave of anxiety had crashed into her. Then she laughed. Of course Tony would 'misplace' his cell so that Bruce had to contact her instead, she knew what he was up to. He was trying to play cupid and control the situation... part of her was glad he had got himself involved. He was a miracle worker when it came to relationships, he and Pepper were like two pea's in a pod and even through the hard times he had made their relationship work. He could tell if a relationship was worth fighting for. She replied.

 

Yeah, I will be there in five.

-Nat.

 

Then she went on to read Clint's message. Him and his riddles were going to drive her crazy, the funny thing was that once he solved them he went around as if he were Einstein or Turing. 

Heyy Nats! 

So i've got this new riddle and I need your help. Laura said if I solved it within   
48hours that she would bake me the god of all cakes, Red velvet.. but its been   
45 hours and im still befuddled and she said I couldn't use the internet to solve it,   
sooo as long as you aren't a computer then i'm allowed to ask you.

The riddle is: Two fathers and their son's go fishing together. They each catch one   
fish to take home with them. They do not lose any fish, and yet when they arrive home  
they only have three fish. How can this be?

Oh also, I wish you were here to see Vison and Wanda, honestly every time I see   
them they both seem to have hearts in their eyes it's almost sickening.

I hope Steve is doing alright... I will update you if anything comes up here.

-Clint

She decide to answer him later. What ever Tony wanted to know she would have to tell him sooner or later. She put her phone back into her pocket and made her way to the Laboratory. Her journey there consisted of her thinking of things to say even though she new that the conversation would come naturally, it always did with Bruce. Another reason why she was smitten with him. 

~

“I can't believe you made me contact her Tony” Stark smiled at Banner as he pulled out his previously misplaced cellphone. Tony acted shocked whilst Bruce just turned around and gave him the silent treatment.  
“What should I say?” He asked Tony, nervous. The older man knew he would nervous and went with the best advice he could give to him without throwing himself in and getting too 'invested' in the relationship as Pepper would scold him for.  
“PROTIP! Say whatever comes to mind.” He smiled, however Bruce looked terrified.  
“Oh yeah, sure because that has totally worked for the majority of your relationships when you said whatever came to mind” Tony looked defeated. Okay that may have been true but come on, he did have a way with the ladies... at least until they wanted to get serious. Pepper. She was different, he knew that she was the one and that what came to mind when he talked to her about it was for once all of the right things to say.   
Bruce found himself staring at Tony's 'Oh so in love' expression. His heart took a plunge, leaving him feeling as lonelier as ever. The door creaked open behind him and he and Tony looked towards Natasha. She gave them both a warm smile before closing the door slowly and walking up to them quickly. 

“Tony. Bruce.” He smiled at her. He had missed being around her, being so close to her. The big guy missed her too. He would have loved to scoop her up in his arms right then and there but they had an important matter to discuss. His smile faltered as he sat down at the lab table, Nat and Tony doing the same.  
“What really happened?” Tony questioned.  
“He hallucinated, he said he saw Bucky.” Both men had not expected that answer but continued to listen to her.  
“He said he was frozen into place and that Bucky had told him that he was broken. He wanted him to go and ended up screaming the place down.”  
“Wow I thought he had injured himself or something” Tony voiced, and Bruce interrupted him.  
“Tony he is a super soldier I don't think him being in a maze would cause him to be physically injured” Bruce said.  
“T'challa did tell me that he seemed to never sleep and hardly ate, for a few months he even refused to stay anywhere but in Bucky's room. Then T'challa told me one day Steve just stopped staying there, and that he had changed.”

All three of them were desperately trying to figure his motives out but they couldn't, even when the answer was right there in front of them.

“Do you think he will let us go through with it?” Bruce asked Natasha. This was his best attempt and forming a conversation. She was glad he had started talking first.  
“I'm not sure... I think there is a big possibility that he will say no. And then we would have to follow his word.” She replied.  
“But this is Bucky we are talking about. Steve doesn't have that authority.” Bruce said.  
“Actually Bruce, it was Bucky's will that the decision to wake him up would have to come from Steve” Tony mentioned. That threw him off guard. Bucky definitely had a lot of faith in Steve, but how could he put his life in the hands of someone and expect them to always be looking out for their best interests whilst maintaining their own.  
“It's getting late, we may or may not have a big day tomorrow. Call T'challa and tell him to get everything ready in the off chance that Steve will consent.”


	6. The Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve risks his life and has to face a harsh memory.

Steve woke up to the sound of his own sneeze. Today was the day, he hoped that they agreed and respected his decision. He was expecting them to be confused, and even angry at him. He just wanted this never ending nightmare to be over and then... well he hadn't thought that far ahead, it seemed when he tried to be optimistic and plan for the future his past just wouldn't let go. He didn't feel like himself any more. He was usually the one to keep the others stable and fix any problems they encountered. Still, he felt as if a large portion of his heart had been torn out. He was tired of moping about and feeling sorry for himself. He had one shot at this and he sure as hell wasn't going to lose this time.

ENOUGH!STOP! His heart screamed. He stood up as straight as a soldier. His veins filled with testosterone and adrenaline . FIGHT BACK! His pupils dilated and he shifted into super soldier mode. He changed into a shirt and jeans and stomped out of his room. He was ready for anything. Steve was going to extend the end of the line.

~~

“Tony are you sure? I mean I don't think he will go through with it-” Steve Burst through the door to the laboratory as T'challa had finished his sentence.  
“Steve?” The gang were rather shocked at his mannerism today. He looked alive again, aware... he looked like Steve again. They were thrilled until they realised that this wasn't him saying yes or no.  
“You can do it” They all sighed in relief and began to make the preparations when Steve spoke again.  
“One one condition: I'm the one that goes into his brain.” He stood firmly, nothing could stray him from the path he was currently persuing.  
“What do you mean?” Natasha said.  
“I did my research too, you know. In order to stimulate the subjects brain it is advised that his be linked with another's in order to reduce all risks and help the subject forge new memories in place of the old ones. I want to be that other brain.” The room was stunned into silence. Bruce, Tony and Nat were about to object when T'challa held his hand up to quieten them.  
“You know the risk?” He asked.  
“Yes your highness.” Steve said, radiating with confidence that the gang hadn't seen for a while.  
“Okay. It is arranged. Djalla, Kiawr hook him up.” The doctors grabbed an arm each and lay him down on the operating table.

He let himself be move around as they were adjusting the apparatus to Steve. Tony, Bruce and Natasha looked on helplessly, they couldn't do anything to stop their friend from going through with the untested practice. He gave a weak smile to the gang and to T'challa who smiled back at him. Tony

“Just In case I don't make it back, you guys gotta promise me something.” Steve said calmly. “If you have to chose between saving me or Bucky, I want you to save him.” The occupants of the room stayed quiet whilst the team were devastated by his words.  
“Promise me..” He said to Natasha as she made her way towards him. A tear escaped from her eye and she nodded, vowed to see that his word was honoured.  
“Okay, what we need you to do Steve is find the real Bucky.”  
“The real Bucky?” Steve was puzzled.  
“Yes, you will know if it is him or not because he will be the only one who can see you. The people in his memories won't have that power, which reminds me, these memories are in the past and thus they cannot hurt you, but you can hurt them so be wise when deciding which to destroy and which to spare”.  
“Mr.Rogers are you ready?” T'challa said with a hint of guilt in his voice.

“Always.”

He felt the sharp device slice through his skin and latch onto his spine at the base of his neck. He hissed in pain... the first time he had felt anything physically in a long time. His eyelids grew heavier and he let this new state of unconsciousness claim him. He felt dizzy at the sudden rush of vibrant colours and shapes that flew past him, the wind whipping around him as if he were in a tornado. Then everything slowed down, the colours and shapes merged together to create images and brought them to life.

Suddenly, everything went black. Steve wasn't exactly sure if this was normal or not and he regretted not doing deeper research into those who had attempted this before him. He looked around trying to find anything or anyone who could help him to navigate around and find the 'real' Bucky. He stood in silence for a slice of time before his keen ears picked up the sound of scuffling and he like a dog following the scent of its master, made his way towards the sound. He found himself staring at a large screen in the black abyss. The screen showed Steve himself fighting someone in a back alley.

“I could do this all day.” Past Steve wiped the blood from his bust lip and took up the fighting stance once more only to be thrown back to the ground, crashing into a trashcan on the way down. Steve remembered this day very well. As Steve's opponent was about to land another punch the man's hand was stopped by a strong hand on his bicep. He was swung around and punched square in the face and the man stumbled back.  
“Why don't ya pick on someone your own size?” The man in the uniform questioned before kicking the other man away. Steve was still on the ground, struggling to get up, when the stronger man helped him up.  
“I had him on the ropes, Buck” Past Steve said as he started to walk forward. Buckys arm over his shoulder keeping him upright.  
“Of course you did” Past Bucky smiled. “How many times is this?” He said reading from the enlistment form.  
“Did you get your orders?” Steve asked.  
“ The one-o-seventh. Sergeant James Barnes. Shipping for England first thing tomorrow.”  
“I should be going.” Steve frowned.  
“Come on, man! It's my last night. Gotta get you cleaned up.”  
“Why? Where are we going?”

Steve remembered this, the last day he would have with Bucky before he got shipped out for the war. He remembered how he almost fainted when Bucky told him the news, and how much he wanted to join to fight too. He didn't think it was fair that someone as great as Bucky should risk his life for his country when someone as dispensable as Steve couldn't. He wanted Bucky to live, to find himself a soulmate on his level and leave behind a truly magnificent legacy. He wanted to repair Bucky so he could have all of those things, even if Steve couldn't.

“The future.” Barnes said as he handed Steve the newspaper that he was holding. Steve opened it to see the add for 'World Exposition'.  
“You're about to be the last eligible man in New York. You know, there's three and a half million women here.” Steve shifted uncomfortably.  
“Hell, I'd settle for just one.” Steve joked.  
“Good thing I took care of that.” Bucky waved to the dates he has lined up.  
“What did you tell her about me?”  
“Only the good stuff.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, what if I told you that in just a few short years, your automobile won't even have to touch the ground at all.” The female helpers took the wheels of the car on stage.  
“Yes. Thanks, Mandy.” Howard then addressed the audience again.  
“With Stark robotic reversion technology, you'll be able to do just that.” He turned on the switch of his machine and the car started to hover off the ground. Holy cow! Then the robots that made the car hover, suddenly malfunctioned and the car fell back on stage.  
“I did say a few years, didn't I?” Howard laughed and the audience broke out into applause.

Steve could see his past Self and past Bucky in the audience with their 'dates'. He smiled, life was so simple back then, and he couldn't help but wonder what life would have been like if he had stayed. He never regretted his decision to become the new him though. As he got lost in his thoughts within a thought, he barely registered the hand on his shoulder. At first he thought it was just one of the memory people trying to get past, that's when he remembered T'challas words.  
'The only one who can see you'

“Stevie?”


	7. My little red wagon

It was him. It was really HIM! Steve had found his Bucky, and now the hard work began. He grinned at Bucky, trying his hardest not to cry, after all he didn't want Bucky to be concerned. He had missed Bucky so much it was almost unbelievable how he had managed to survive without him. Then he remembered. Past experience. His grin faltered for a brief moment and Steve hoped that Bucky hadn't noticed.

“It's good to see you Buck” A look of shock registered on his friends face, why was Bucky looking at him as if he didn't believe Steve was stood right in front of him.

Bucky didn't expect a reaction from Steve, he had travelled around almost every one of his memories containing Steve and when he interacted with the blond, he got no reaction. The fact that this one saw him too could only mean one thing...

“Stevie. How did you?” He gasped.  
“It's the real me Buck. We found a way to fix you and I volunteered to-”  
“You did what?!”  
“I volunteered my brain so I could help you erase your triggers...” Steve thought that Bucky was angry with him but in all truth, Bucky didn't know how to react to what Steve had done. He was going to be fixed. But at what cost to him? Would he loose Steve too?

An uncertain expression appeared on James' face as he tried to figure everything out. Before he took another step towards Steve he had to know what was at stake and how they were going to fix his mind.

~~

“Mr. Stark. Miss Romanov and Mr.Banner may I have a word.” T'challa asked. He brought them away from the bodies of Steve and Bucky and into a small conference room situated at the side of the laboratory.  
“Yes?” They all asked in unison.  
“I'm afraid we have some bad news...we have to cancel the physical operation. It seems that we have misjudged the healing abilities of both subjects and-”  
“Misjudged? What do we do now then?” Tony said with rage clear in his voice.  
“We have to let Steve take this on fully, if he can stimulate Bucky's brain then he will have access to all of his memories and he can destroy them from the inside.”  
“Bullshit! How do you expect that to work?” Bruce shouted, causing a few of the scientist to raise their concealed weapons towards the doctor.  
“Guys! Calm down and let him finish” Natasha said calmly. Bruce raised his hands in the air to say he wasn't going to get angry and T'challa carried on.  
“Tony. You were right...”  
“Excuse me?”  
“Yesterday when you mentioned that Doctor ____ had focused to much on the physical operation side, in fact he was doing it all wrong by even trying to fix his brain in that way. We don't need half and half, we just need the mental stimulation as long as both subjects are well they should be able to fix it mentally.” T'challa said so quickly that he had almost ran out of breath.  
“Y-yes of course I knew that, i'm never wrong. Why can't you all be like me and of course your highness here?” Tony stuttered. How had he, the genius of the century not noticed that? He blamed it on the fact that he hadn't had schwarma in a while. He prayed for the first time in his life, for them to get out of this alive. They had to anyway because he had already arranged a welcome party for them back home and if they died all of his individual effort (most of it was actually arranged by Pepper) would be wasted.

“Its up to them. All we can do is wait and pray.” T'challa said softly.

~~

“So how have things been in the warmth?” Bucky asked whilst rubbing the back of his neck. He was of course referring to how things were outside of his cryochamber.  
“Uh... yeah everyone is doing fine, Bruce is back and Tony and Nat are here too, its thanks to them that we can help you”. He said trying to avoid any conversation that could cause conflict.  
“I thought this was impossible.” As Bucky finished his sentence, Steve looked as guilty as ever.  
“Yeah, it was.” He said with some sadness in his voice.  
“If it was impossible then how are you here?”  
“It has never been done before Bucky, no one has ever attempted this so no one can predict how this will end” This stumped Bucky. So Steve was risking everything to be here with him.  
“I'm sorry Buck, but you deserve to live a long and fulfilling life and you can't do that trapped here. Frozen in time.”  
“What? And you don't deserve to live?” Buckys eyes widened.  
“That's not what I meant Bucky. I...can we talk about this when we are out of this?” Steve pleaded and as much as Bucky wanted to say more on the matter, it wouldn't be wise in their current situation. He took a deep breath.  
“Punk.”  
“Jerk.” Steve laughed. The tension between the two dissolving into the air.

The pair carried on watching the spectacle and followed their past selves around. It was beginning to get late and they both knew what was going to happen next. 

“You really gonna do this again?” Bucky asked.  
“Well, it's a fair. I'm gonna try my luck.”  
“As who? Steve from Ohio? They'll catch you. Worse, they'll actually take you.”  
“Look, I know you don't think I can do this.”  
“This isn't a back alley, Steve. It's a war!” Bucky warned him.  
“I know it's a war. You don't have to tell me.”  
“Why are you so keen to fight? There are so many important jobs.” Barnes said trying his best to convince Steve.  
“What am I gonna do? Collect scrap metal...”  
“Yes!” Bucky said as if it was the the best idea in the world. “...in my little red wagon.”  
“Why not?”  
“I'm not gonna sit in a factory, Bucky. Come on! There are men laying down their lives. I got no right to do any less than them. That's what you don't understand. This isn't about me.”  
“Right. Cause you got nothing to prove. Don't do anything stupid until I get back.” He warned Steve.  
“How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you.” Steve said, his future self laughed quietly at his comeback. “You're a punk.” Past Bucky walked back towards Past Steve and hugged him goodbye. The real Bucky gulped.  
“Jerk. Be careful.” Steve said as Sergeant James Barnes walked away. “Don't win the war till I get there!”

“Wow, tell me Stevie do I still look as pretty as I was back then” Bucky joked.  
“You wish” He laughed.  
“Zhelaniye” A voice Boomed. Bucky recognised this word straight away.


	8. Longing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky confront the first trigger word.

The two men were transported to a very, messy and vandalised bar. Where they Saw past Steve sat at one of the less damaged tables drinking alcohol. Peggy was sat next to him. Past Steve poured himself another drink.

“Doctor Erskine said that the serum wouldn't just effect my muscles, it would effect my cells. Create a protective system of regeneration and healing. Which means um...I can't get drunk. Did you know that?” He asked her.  
“Your metabolism burns four times faster than the average person. He thought it could be one of the side effects. It wasn't your fault” She said referring to Barnes getting killed.  
“Did you read the reports?”  
“Yes.”  
“Then you know that's not true.” He said sounding even more broken.  
“You did everything you could. Did you believe In your friend? Did you respect him?” Steve looked at her as if to say yes. “Then stop blaming yourself. Allow Barnes the dignity of his choice. He damn well must have thought you were worth it.” She gave Past Steve a look that he hadn't understood.  
“I'm goin' after Schmidt. I'm not gonna stop till all of Hydra is dead or captured!” He said with such a look that Bucky felt almost scared.

Bucky heard a sniffle and looked over to the real Steve. His eyes were red and he was trembling a bit, Bucky new that this couldn't have been easy for him, but why did Bucky's brain show them this? Or was it Steve's brain?

“Zhelaniye” Steve whispered so that it was only just audible.  
“Longing” Bucky translated.  
“Your first trigger word Buck. I've got this figured out.”  
“How?”  
“Think about it, a voice says your first trigger and that causes my mind takes us to one of my memories, one that you couldn't possibly have in your brain. I was longing Buck.”  
“Longing for what Steve?”  
“Longing for a second chance... hoping that it was all just a nightmare and that I would wake up to the smell of your pancakes, in our apartment... where we could be us and have the freedom of choice. Where I could have saved you, or taken your place.” Steve hated saying things like that but it was true he would have switched places with Bucky in a heart beat.  
“Oh...” was all Bucky could say.

The scene before them froze as Steve walked up to his Past self, he grabbed the bottle that was frozen in mid air and threw it at the wall. Then he grabbed another bottle and repeated the process a few more times before Bucky took control and rested a hand on Steve's shoulder. Steve turned around, mumbled and apology and walked away from the scene into the darkness of the abyss. Bucky followed.

“How have you all been?” Buck asked trying to break the ice.  
“Well, Natasha has been alright, I think she is still a little heart broken over Bruce.” He said and Bucky nodded.  
“Bruce is doing good too, he thinks he has finally managed to control or work with the big guy. T'challa is still great, Tony and Pepper are back together and Tony also forgives you now.” He finished.  
“And?”  
“And what?”  
“What about you Steviee?” Bucky teased.  
“Me? Yeah I'm great. Everything is just dandy.” Steve lied. Bucky saw right through this and pressed further into the matter.  
“Steve Rogers! How dare you lie to me.” Bucky said acting as if he was annoyed, which caused Steve to look even guiltier.  
“Bad, Bucky. I can hardly sleep, eat, live.” Steve said scrunching his eyes.

Bucky was about to ask further when another large screen illuminated. The screen showed them the same bar, however, it was still intact and many people occupied it. Past Bucky sitting alone caught the men's attention and they began walking towards him when Past Steve came over to Past Bucky.

“See!... told you, they were all idiots” Past Bucky said as Past Steve sat down next to him.  
“How about you? You ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death?”  
“Hell no. That little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight. I'm following him.” Past Bucky said to Past Steve as he gave him a small sorrowful smile.  
“But you're keeping the outfit right?” Past Bucky smirked.  
“You know what? It's kinda growin on me.” Steve smiled back, just before Peggy Carter entered the room.  
“Captain.”  
“Agent Carter” Past Steve replied.  
“Ma'am” Past Bucky greeted only to be ignored by her. She kept all eyes on Past Steve and Both present and past Bucky felt a pang of jealousy.

“Buck. Are you okay?” Steve asked as he turned to face a pissed off Bucky.  
“Buck.” Steve repeated as he went to put his hand on the other man's shoulder. Bucky pulled away.  
“You shouldn't have come after me... you could have still made things work with her, but instead you went in, guns blazing against Hydra and for what exactly? To be frozen and then...” Bucky raised his voice.  
“I DID IT FOR YOU. JERK!” Steve shouted surprising himself as well as the brunette.  
“Going against Hydra. Going against my friends. Going against the rules... I did it all for you. And you know what? I don't regret a damn thing God dammit.” Steve said as he grabbed Bucky by the shoulders and turned the other man to face him.  
“Longing right? I was longing for YOU back there in the bar, not at the fact that I didn't know if I would ever see Peggy again. I longed to have you there by my side, till the end of the line Buck.”  
“M-me?”  
“Yes. Buck.” Steve said before carrying on. “What were you longing for back in the bar Buck? Sure I liked Peggy but I never saw her as anything more as a friend so you had no need to be jealous over her, I would have been happy for you and her to-”  
“SHUT UP!”  
“Bucky, please I am trying to explain..”  
“You really are a punk.” Bucky said as tears began to form in his eyes.  
“Whats wrong?”  
“You have no idea how hard it was to stand back and let her look at you like that, let her flirt with YOU!, when she touched your shoulder I just wanted to rip her off of you and drag you away.” The tears were flowing even more now.  
“Bucky.” Steve whispered before pulling the other man in for a hug. 

There they stayed in the embrace. Both entities shaking, a fountain of almost endless tears being generated between the both of them. They cried away years and years of tears, worries and fear. Overhead a large alarm sounded and the abyss turned pure white. Another booming voice which this time sounded like Tony spoke.

“Rzhavet”


	9. Rusted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky helps fix Steve's dads motorbike.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I am starting college tomorrow and i wont have as much time to juggle 3 A-levels and writing fanfic. However, do not fear i will try to get at least 3-4 chapters up a week. Thanks everyone ^_^

Another screen appeared before the eyes of the two super soldiers. They both exchanged a look of confusion at one of Bucky's trigger words being said by none other than Tony Stark. The scene that was shown to them this time was of a small shed and a half restored motorcycle. The shed was filled with a plethora of tools and bike parts. Steve and Bucky were about to enter the frame when their past selves came walking through the unhinged door of the shed.

“Remind me to thank your mother again for the food.” Past Bucky said.  
“Sure Buck. But i'm sure this is thanks enough..”  
“Why did she want this fixed so badly anyways?”  
“It was my dads, the anniversary of his death is coming up and she wanted to have it fixed as a gift... as he never lived long enough to fix it himself.” Steve said, with a pang of emotion in his voice which was quickly covered up.  
“Oh.” Bucky said as he started to fix the rusted bike.  
“So, um Bernadette is having a little leaving party before she goes to live in India and she said I have to invite someone else and I thought, well I thought that you would like to come?”  
“Ahaha very funny Buck. I think i'll pass.” Steve laughed to himself.  
“Steviee” Bucky said trying to look as sad as possible with his big puppy eyes.  
“Buck, I really can't im boring and i'd probably get sick again and-” Steve was interrupted by Bucky putting his arm over his shoulder and ruffling his hair up.  
“Okay, okay” Bucky said. “I'll tell her that we will be there!”  
“James Buchanan Barnes!” Steve laughed as he chased Bucky around his fathers old bike.

Thats when they heard the smash of plates coming from Steve's house just a few yards away from the shed.  
“Mom!” Steve shouted as he ran inside to find out what had happened.

Present Steve and Bucky remembered this all too well. Even though Mrs. Rogers wasn't his mother, she had always treated him like a son, and this memory had always haunted him.

~~

“Tony, how are they holding up?” Natasha asked Tony.  
“Its been seven hours already and they are showing some progress, its best not to rush things like this.” He sighed. Bags were clear under his eyes, and he along with everyone else were in a zombie like state. If they Succeeded this, Natasha thought, they would make history. She wondered what they would go on to do once it was over, would Bucky leave Steve and make a new life for himself? Tony was already building a case to get them out of this legal mess, and they would all be free soon.

“Hey, um Natasha can I have a word?” Bruce said sceptically.  
“Sure” The red head said as she left the table Tony was at and walked into another room with Bruce.  
“I just wanted to apologise, for, well for everything. I was wrong to leave you like that, but I was so afraid of hurting you and the authorities were on my case and I couldn't risk you being caught in the crossfire.”  
“Bruce, you may be rusted by the oxidisation of the situation, but that's nothing we can't fix with a little vinegar”  
“Nat. Are you speaking Science to me?” Bruce said with his eyebrows raised.  
“I've missed you” She said with a tear in her eye. He reciprocated by planting a kiss onto her forehead. Her heart filled with blood and she didn't feel so cold any more. She had HER Bruce back and she was never going to let him go again, whether the big guy liked it or not.

~~

“Steve?” Present Bucky whispered to his 'friend'.  
“Yeah?” Steve said snapping out of his daydream.  
“I think we are in one of my memories now” He pointed out as the screen flickered and showed their past selves in an old hospital ward. This time they both stepped into the scene and went towards the old Steve and Bucky. They were sat at side of Mrs. Rogers bed. Bucky recalled this day very well, Steve's mother had developed tuberculosis and she had died because of it.

“S-steve..” Sarah said to her son.  
“Yeah ma.”  
“Can you get me some water please?” She asked.  
“Of course ma, i'll be back real soon.” He said as he grabber her cup and sprinted off to the water cooler.  
“James” She said to Bucky.  
“Yes ma'am?”  
“I won't last long in this state, just promise me something?”  
“Of course. Anything.”  
“Look after my not so little Stevie, would'ya? I'm scared he might do something stupid once I pass. You know how he is.” She said through shallow breaths.  
“Ma, i've got your water” Steve said as he walked back in to find her heart rate had slowed, and continued slowing until it finally flat lined. In that moment Steve had dropped the cup of water and stared at his lifeless mother. No tears fell, no screams were heard. His knees buckled beneath him and he stayed there. He looked as lifeless as Steve's mother when Bucky looked over to Sarah's son. Steve's face grew paler than it had ever been before and his lips turned blue. His body began to vibrate, but still he didn't move. Then he was embraced by a warm pair of arms. Bucky. Steves head rested on Buckys warm chest as the brunette began to sway him back and forth, trying to avoid the fever that Steve was developing.   
“Stevie, its gonna be okay.” Bucky said as he rubbed the blonde's back. Nurses flailing about above them trying to resuscitate her.

From the other side of the frame, Present Steve and Bucky looked on. Then it dawned in Steve's mind, had Bucky only taken care of him because he made a promise to his mother? Was he forced to take care of him.

“I'm sorry Bucky.” Steve said.  
“Sorry for what?”  
“That you were forced into looking after me, I never knew that she made you promise...” He said looking away from the Brunette.  
“Look at me.” Bucky said.  
“.....” Steve didn't reply or look at him.  
“Look at me” Bucky said with a hint of anger in his words. Steve still didn't look his way.

Bucky pulled Steve around and pushed him gently against one of the hospital columns. A hand on either side of Steve's head. Bucky was breathless, looking at the sight before him, all of the details he remembered for one last time before he was shipped off to England.   
“I had already promised myself that I would look after you Steve.” He said taking another deep breath to control himself from what he really wanted to do.  
“Believe it or not I always saw you as my equal. I didn't care if you got sick and I had to look after you, heck you made my life have a purpose. You helped me to feel again Steve after all of the bullshit I had to put up with before I met you.”

Both men were breathing heavily, testosterone surging through their veins. They each stole quick glances at each others lips. Then there faces moved closer and closer until their lips were almost touching...

“Semnadtsat”


	10. Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky celebrate their 17th birthdays again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've just started college and I have a lot to catch up on so I think I will upload a chapter every three days, imma be 17 soon so i thought this chapter was quite fitting and fun to write. BTDubss I have tried to be as accurate as possible but im giving myself some leway (it's like 2.a.m and i'm tired) so don't be mad if i have changed a few things about the characters. Thanks for the Kudos, much appreciated. ^_^

The two men jumped apart as another of Bucky's trigger words was spoken. This time the voice the words had belonged to was none other than Clint Barton. The males eyed each other at their previous proximity. For the rest of the way over to the newly lit screen, they kept a sizeable distance between them, thoughts going wild within their minds.

“Stevie?” Past Bucky said as he entered Past Steve's bedroom.  
“Hmm.” Steve replied tiredly as Bucky pounced on the bed.  
“Wake upp” Bucky moaned, causing Steve to retract the covers from himself and sit on the edge of the bed.  
“Okay. Okay, i'm up. What's the occasion?” Steve said groggily.  
“What's the occasion? Steve its the 4th of July!” Bucky exclaimed.  
“Oh so does that mean we can have the day off?” Steve said as he yawned.  
“No-well that too- but its your birthday!” Bucky announced.  
“Oh”   
“Listen, Stevie... I know this will be your first birthday without your dear ma, but she wouldn't want you to not celebrate it.” Bucky said smoothly whilst dangling his arm over Steve's small shoulder.  
“Yeah, I guess.”  
“Too right! Now get yourself dressed, we need to leave soon..” Bucky ordered as he walked out of Steve's small bedroom. It had been over a year since they moved into the old apartment. 

Present Steve remembered how anxious he was to celebrate his birthday, to not be greeted by his mother early in the morning. However, he did appreciate everything that Bucky had done for him that day. The memory changed again to the little cafe where Bucky had taken Steve for birthday breakfast.

“So whaddya want?” Past Bucky asked Steve.  
“Umm, can I have the waffles? Please”   
“Sure you can Stevie” Bucky grinned as he went up to the counter to order their breakfast. He came back a little while later with one plate of pancakes and the other consisting of a pile of waffles with a candle sticking out of the top.  
“I would'a put seventeen candles but there just wasn't enough space.” Bucky said to Steve's shocked reaction.  
“Bucky... I-”  
“As we are kinda short on cash, this is the only gift I could afford” Bucky said looking ashamed as he handed Steve a newer copy of the tattered book that Bucky had gotten him previously.  
“I... I love it!” He beamed as he blew out his candle. 

~~

“Hello?” Tony said as he picked up his cell phone.   
“Tony... Its Wanda.”  
“Hey, whatsup? Is it vision again? Don't tell me... he has remodelled the tower.” Tony said jokingly.  
“No. It's Hydra.” Wanda said sounding freaked out.  
“What about Hydra?”  
“They are on the rebound Tony and we need everyone to help”  
“By everyone do you mean-”  
“Yes.”  
“How much time have we got?”  
“A week, maybe two... how are things going?” She inquired.  
“Well its been 12 hours and so far I'd say they are one fifth of the way there. So hopefully they speed it up.”  
“Wait they?”  
“Yeah Steve volunteered to join Bucky's mind.”  
“Oh, well I have to go, good luck.”  
“Thanks Wanda and stay safe” Tony sighed, that's all they needed. Hydra back in the works, there was always something. Now they really had to hurry up.

Natasha, who had secretly eavesdropped the conversation began to formulate strategies to beat Hydra should their experiment fail. She needed to inform the others.

 

Hey Clint,

Have you heard about the recent events acted out by the alleged Hydra? We are   
gonna need all the backup we can get. Could you call the others, that way we   
can go over possible scenarios.Sorry for not answering your riddle C everything   
here has been pretty hecticyanno? How are the wife and kids doing? Did she bake  
you the cake?

Nat x

“Tony, Bruce! We need to talk”

~~

“Buckyy” Past Steve coaxed.  
“Hm” Bucky mumbled.  
“Wake up dude.”  
“Whaa?”  
“Happy Birthday Dork!” Steve shouted to the top of his frail lungs, waking Bucky up fully.  
“Woah, thanks dude” He looked at his clock “It's like 10 A.M why didn't you wake me? Im gonna be late for work” Just as Bucky was about to stand up steve put his finger over Bucky's mouth causing the brunette to halt immediately.  
“It's cool I booked the day off for you, don't worry I sorted it out with your boss.” Steve smiled.  
“Aww yah didn't have to do that Stevie” Bucky said all choked up.  
“Hurry up Jerk your present is waiting for you!” Steve said as Bucky got up, put on some pants and followed him across the corridor of their small apartment to their kitchen. It was there that Bucky had realised that Steve had cooked him breakfast and even baked the guy a cake. He was in disbelief.  
“Steve...”  
“There is more once you have had breakfast” Steve hinted as he sat down across from Bucky and they tucked in to a generous serving of pancakes.

Once they had finished, and Bucky had eaten one of the plums Steve had bought him, the blonde dragged him outside to something covered in a green tarp. Bucky pulled it off and couldn't believe his eyes. It was Steve's Dads motorcycle.

“Stevie, I can't-”  
“Yes you can! I fixed it up a bit more and it should be ready to go, I thought it would be useful to you to travel to places.” Steve blushed.  
“How did I get so lucky ay?” Bucky said as he tightly hugged his best friend.  
“So you like it?”  
“Like it?! I love it!” Bucky smiled.

The screen went Black and Bucky and Steve were left to their own thoughts. They looked at each other nervously. Both wanting to speak but too afraid to. A nervous laugh sounded from Bucky, which was the catalyst for steve's quizzed look.

“What's so funny?”  
“I got you a book... and you got me a motorcycle.” He laughed again.  
“I will have you know that book is my all time favourite so i'm thankful for it... expensive presents are for materialistic people, even just having you there was enough” Steve assured Bucky.  
“Do you still have it?”  
“Yeah I still have the book, both copies”  
“And the motorcycle?”  
“Yeah its in Tony's garage why?” Steve questioned.  
“You wanna take a ride with me sometime?”  
“I've waited 70 years for you to ask that” The two laughed without hesitation and for now everything was fine again.

“Rassvet”


	11. Daybreak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the delay... it's just taken me longer than i thought to settle in and i got tonnes of college work to do so i think 2 chapters a week is more realistic as apposed to 3. I will try to stay consistent as i know how it feels when you're waiting ages for a new chapter to be put up. Thanks again for the Kudos ^_^

“Pepper? What's up?”   
“Tony... I-i don't think it will work anymore.”  
“Wh-what do you mean Pepper? This isn't like you...”  
“I'm sorry Tony. I love you. Goodbye”

Its almost funny how a few minutes of conversation can make or break someone's world. In this case Tony's world had been decimated at his lovers words. Although part of him felt that she meant what she said, the other part of the man's spectacular mind wasn't convinced. She was forced to say those words to him, someone else was there listening in to their 'talk'. Someone else was at Stark tower, Vision and Wanda along with the rest of the Pro-Bucky gang were in hiding so no one would be there to protect her. Of course there was Friday, however, Stark hadn't had the time to improve her protocols. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and exhaled his frustration and anger. He was going to get Pepper back, no matter the cost.

In a flash he had brought up the camera feeds within Stark tower. There she was, with a shotgun to her head, a masked Mercenary guiding her towards the elevator. Tony zoomed in closer to try and identify where the man was from. His armoured clothing was fully black, with the exception of a red symbol on the man's upper arm. Hydra.

~~

“Bucky?”  
“Yeah Steve?”  
“What does Rassvet mean?”  
“Daybreak”  
“I've noticed that your trigger words are rather odd”  
“How so?”  
“Think about it, Daybreak, seventeen and longing etcetera”  
“Yeah I guess so”  
“Do you feel fixed?”  
“Kinda, its weird I feel like with every new trigger word, the chains that have trapped my mind for so long are finally breaking.”

They began to walk through the void once more, this time visibly closer to each other as they walked towards a newly illuminated screen. The setting was of a large field in the middle of nowhere. This was one of Steve's memories.

“Hey Bucky, can you help me with this fire wood?”  
“Sure thing Stevie” Bucky winked as he picked up a considerably larger amount of fire wood than the pre-serum Steve.  
“Show off!”  
“Someone is jealous!” One of their old friends shouted.  
“Am not!” Steve huffed and started setting up the fire.  
“You two have fun” Their old friend shouted as she and her group put their backpacks on.  
“Are you sure you can't stay a little while longer?” Bucky prodded.  
“Nope, sorry guys, we have classes tomorrow”  
“Have a safe journey home” Steve said.  
“We will, thanks Steve, thanks James” They said with a wave as they descended the hill, soon disappearing into the horizon.

It was mid-afternoon Past Steve and Bucky began to make dinner. Bucky was assigned to cooking the burgers whilst Steve prepared the salad. Their camping trip brought on by Bucky receiving a promotion at work. They ate in complete silence, both men stealing glances and smiles at each other as they enjoyed their meal. The two conversing through facial expressions instead of words.

“It seems like forever since we have had some spare time, huh Stevie.”   
“Yeah, hey things are finally looking up for us Buck.”  
“Sure are.” He smiled warmly towards Steve.

They had finished their meals and Steve cleaned up their supplies, getting ready to go to bed when Bucky grabbed him by the arm and spun Steve around in a circle. Steve laughed as their favourite song had came on the radio. Present Steve and Bucky noticed Buckys memory of the event begin to merge with Steves until they had formed a vivid world together. The scene flickered from an open field to a sandy beach leading out to a large lake. Past Bucky had tagged Steve and the frail man ran after the brunette. Armed with his inhaler, the blonde gained speed and finally tagged Bucky back.   
“My turn” Bucky said teasingly as he turned around and began chasing Steve, he didn't run too fast as he didn't want to tire out Steve.  
“Bucky. No.” Steve said as he giggled and began to run away from his friend. At some point of his escape Steve managed to trip over himself and was flung into the warm, shallow end of the Lake. He began to sink until a large and warm hand gripped his arm and brought him up to the surface. Bucky and Steve were breathing frantically as Steve tried to stay afloat.

“Stevie. Copy my movements” Bucky said.  
“O-okay”  
“I won't let go of you okay? Just kick your legs around, its alright” He instructed.  
“Okay” Steve's face lit up as he was able to keep himself afloat.  
“Yeah, see you are doing it” Bucky applauded.  
“Bucky?”  
“Yeah Stevie?”  
“Can we go further out?”  
“If you think you are capable then yeah, why not. Just hold onto me okay.” And with that Bucky swam further out towards the middle of the lake, with Steve gripping onto his shoulders.  
“The water is warmer here” Steve observed.  
“Yeah, it is...”  
“Woah” Steve gasped as he looked towards the sky “Look at the stars” Bucky didn't look up at the stars, instead he looked at Steve's face.  
“I already am...”   
“Woah look at that one, its a shooting star! Make a wish Buck.”  
“Alright Stevie...Done!”  
“What did ya wish for?”  
“I can't tell you that, or else it might not happen” Bucky stuck his tongue out and began to swim to the shore when he noticed Steve's ragged breath become louder in volume and shallower.  
“Shit!” He exclaimed as he pulled Steve towards him and rubbed his back.  
“I-I-I-im alright Buck.”  
“Lets get you back to the fire”  
“Thanks Buck.”  
“Eh, you owe me some toasted marshmallows now punk.” He smiled. However, the moment was short lived when a large wave of water washed over the pair from out of nowhere. Bucky lost his grip on Steve and went into panic mode, diving in and out of the water, until Steve's body resurfaced and stiffly floated a few yards from Bucky. He yanked Steves body towards him and swam to the shore. Steve had stopped breathing, and was growing colder and colder by the minute. 

Bucky began to apply pressure to Steve's chest, hoping to get him to resurface from the void that he was travelling to. After a few pushes, and no result, Bucky was preparing to do mouth to mouth. Just as his lips were about to meet Steve's, the blonde coughed up water which hit Buckys face causing him to splutter. Steve weakly opened his eyes, and was startled at the closeness of their faces. Bucky pulled his head back and for the rest of the camping trip they stayed far away from the water.

“Ahh the good ol days” Steve said trying to lighten the mood.  
“That was quite a day”  
“Bucky... why didn't you look at the stars?”  
“Eh stars are boring, why would I waste my time looking at em when I got something way more cooler to look at” Bucky laughed.  
“Sooo I'm cool?” Steve smiled.  
“I wouldn't say that, i'd say moreee, easily scares me to death sometimes cool”  
“It wasn't my fault that the wave just appeared. Oh and uh sorry again for spitting in your face”  
“Its okay. You know you really did scare the hell outta me Stevie. I didn't think you were gonna make it, and if you hadn't it would have all been my fault and-”  
“Hey, jerk. I asked you to take me towards the middle of the lake okay? And what happened was no-ones fault, and i'm still here now aren't it?”  
“I guess” They both grinned at each other. Bucky looking at Steve as if he were a God.  
“Quit starin at me!” Steve joked.  
“Stevie?”  
“Yeah?”  
“If we make it outta this, I got somethin I wanna talk to you about... and something I wanna show you”  
“Alright, but don't forget the motorcycle ride too!”

“Pech”


	12. Furnace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I couldn't sleep and ended up writing another chapter yay! (P.S i will try to edit the chapters to fix any grammatical or spelling errors)

“Are the guys reading out your triggers? Or is it your brain?”  
“Honestly, I don't have a clue”  
“So furnace huh?”  
“Yeah. We are almost halfway Stevie!” Bucky smiled.

They made their way over to yet another screen, this screen however was charred at the outline and heat was emanating from it. When they looked closer, the frame showed Bucky in a cold metal chair, his hands and legs strapped with leather bounds. His body hysterically trying to free itself.

To the left of Bucky was a shiny metal surgical table, complete with the metal tray containing torturous devices. A man, who looked very similar to Steve was sat at the far side of the room, holding onto a metal rod which was placed over a fire. A shiver travelled down Steve's spine at his view of what was happening.

“Do you comply?”  
“Rot in hell!”  
“Ahh still as cocky as ever James” Steve's doppelgänger said with a look of utter malice on his face as he pressed the rod against the skin of Bucky's chest. The brunette hissed in pain but still did not give in. The man removed the rod and sat back in his chair, laughing.  
“Do you comply. Soldier?”  
“Fuck you, you crazy bastard!” Bucky said only to earn himself another painful touch from the heated rod.

The man stood up, placed the rod back onto the fire and grabbed a file from the cabinet near the fireplace. He opened it, and pulled out a photograph.

“You want to know something?”  
“Fuck you!”  
“Fine. I guess you have given up on, oh what's his name again? Steve was it?”  
“Wh-what did you just say?” Bucky's eyes opened wide as the blonde man showed him a recent photo of Steve.  
“His file says he is dead. Lost at sea.” He smiled. “Well isn't that tragic, no one will rescue you now”  
“Y-you're wrong! Steve will rescue me... even if it takes him forever...until the end of”  
“Until the end of the line. Buck” The blonde imitated Steve rather well. Past Bucky's heart shattered. 

Unknown the Present Bucky, Steve was building up quite the rage at this copycat. His heart hurt at the way Bucky was being treated. He was close to going wild.

“Now, will you comply?”  
“Never.”  
“I thought so.” The man trailed off as he brought back the metal rod and this time jabbed Bucky's wounded left arm. The captive once more hissed in pain as his flesh became seared. He repeated this process until his arm was pulled behind him causing the blonde to lose his grip on the rod. Steve had, had enough.

“Comply to this!” Steve shouted as he roundhouse kicked his mirror image in the face. The man stumbled back in shock as he tried to stay upright. Steve grabbed him by the collar of his lab coat and threw him to the ground. Bucky looked on frozen at this sudden change. Steve grabbed the hot iron rod and began to burn the handler. Each burn releasing an even louder hiss from the scum before him.

“Do you comply?!” Steve screamed as he Jabbed the man harder and harder.  
“Augh-au” The blonde choked.  
“YOU BASTARD!” Steve pierced the man through the heart with the hot rod. He was dead. In memory form anyway.

Steve leaned over a little to catch his breath. He was still livid but a large portion of his rage had subsided for now. He looked back over at Bucky. His face let slip to no emotions. 

“How did you live through that?”  
“.....”  
“Bucky? Im sorry I just-”  
“Language.”  
“Huh?”  
“Language Stevie” Bucky grinned. “You don't want to be a hypocrite now, do ya?”  
“Oh, yeah... sorry”  
“Stevie... thank you, for that. Honestly, I can't tell you how satisfying that was.”  
“It's no problem, really-”  
“They tried to trick me. Into thinking he was you. But I could see through their lies. I was right”  
“Right about what?”  
“That you would come and rescue me. I'm glad you only took 70 years instead of forever, for that I can forgive you.”

The frame shifted once more to a small bedroom. Steve's old bedroom back at their appartment.

“Hey Stevie, you cold?” Past Bucky asked as he walked into Steve's room.  
“Y-ye” Steve shivered.  
“You want some heat?” Bucky suggested.  
“If its not inconvinient for you”  
“Inconvenient? Are yah kiddin me? I'm boiling, at least you will cool me down a little.” Bucky said as he made his way over to Steve's bed, lifting the duvet covers and sitting beneath them.  
“There.” Bucky sighed as he wrapped his arms around Steve to keep his frail friend warm. He was only partially hugging him as Steve was currently sketching something.  
“Buck.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Can i- can I sketch you? Im bored of drawing the door in different styles.”  
“Yeah, sure. Im flattered, personally if I were you I would sketch my right side, it makes me look rather innocent, or you could sketch my left side, I feel like I would look more wise and even more... what's the word? Mysterious.”  
“Okay Buck. Calm down, its just a sketch.”  
“Hey! Mr. Its just a sketch, what if you get them published huh? I want to look good yanno.” Bucky humoured, moving a few inches closer to Steve's small body. Steve with his body pressed against Bucky's automatically seemed to warm him, heck even without the physical contact, just having Bucky in his general vicinity was enough to warm him up.

“I miss our old apartment.” Steve sighed.  
“Me too.”  
“You reckon its still there?”  
“Nah probably not”

“Devyat”

~~

“Nat, Bruce... we have a problem” Tony said, visibly shaken. The two lovebirds quickly rushed over to him.  
“Steve and Bucky seem to be doing fine.” Bruce stated. Natasha noded.  
“It's Hydra. They have Pepper.” Tony rushed.  
“Shit.” Natasha said.   
“Are you sure?” Bruce asked.  
“Listen I checked stark tower survelence. They had her at gunpoint, I don't know what they plan on doing with her but I don't want to wait to find out” Tony sighed, clearly frustrated at the situation.

Natasha pulled out her cellphone and began texting everyone.

Send to: All participants

Hey, its Nat. We need you to break cover, Hydra has Pepper and  
we need to stop them. It's protocol squid. I repeat protocol  
squid. Be ready tomorrow at 0700 hours. And if anyone has the  
means to contact Thor, please do. We need him now more than  
ever. Until then, Protocol Squid has been activated. 

Natasha put her cell away and pulled her attention back to Tony who had begun pacing.  
“God, what am I going to do?”  
“I'm on it. You two stay here and make sure these two buffs don't do anything stupid. Its time we got the team back out of hiding and kicking some ass.”


	13. Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so i will be uploading a new chapter every Sunday and Thursday.   
> TRIGGER WARNING: Molestation mentioned in this chapter.

“Natasha.”  
“Natasha!” Bruce said louder. Natasha was pulled out of her daydream and turned her attention to Bruce.  
“Hm?”  
“Tony has just got off the phone with Vision and they should be here in a couple of hours.”  
“Oh”  
“Nat? What's wrong?” Bruce said with a hint of concern in his voice.  
“Nothing. It's just, we have the whole world against us. Even if we do defeat Hydra, what if Tony can't get the rest of the group out of their criminal charges? They would have to go back into hiding and... and so would you.”  
“Natasha-”  
“Promise me one thing.”  
“What is it?”  
“If you decide to leave again. Don't ever come back.” Saying those words killed her inside, but when he had left for what she thought was permanently she had almost gotten over him, but when he came back, he caused her mind to rethink and her heart to take control. As much as she understood Bruce's situation, she also wanted some continuity and if he ran off again she would rather he stayed away.  
“No” Natasha looked at Bruce in shock.  
“Bruce.” She raised her eyebrow.  
“Natasha” He said as he took her hands in his “I can't promise you that, but I can promise you that no matter how bad it gets, I won't ever leave you again, and if I do leave I will be taking you with me.” Natasha was speechless, her heart leapt in joy and for once in her life she ignored that nagging voice in the back of her head. Bruce pulled her towards him and engulfed her in a hug of apologies and guilt.  
“I really feel for Tony.” Natasha said.  
“Yeah, now I have you back... heck even when I ran away I spent everyday worrying over you, and then my Intel told me of everything that happened with Bucky and I don't think I've ever been so scared.” Natasha didn't respond. Instead she put her arms around Bruce's neck and proceeded to kiss him softly on the lips. The sparks that she had felt the first time they had kissed were still there and she smiled into the kiss as did Bruce. The pair separated to gather some Oxygen. Both of them gazing into each others eyes. The situation was far from ideal but they relinquished in the moment while it lasted.

~~

“How many more after this?”  
“Only a few more. Am I boring you?”  
“Buck. Let's not okay.”   
“Lets not what Stevie?”  
“Im sorry Bucky i'm just. I'm exhausted...mentally and no you aren't boring me. It's just I feel so terrible”  
“Why? What's got ya feelin so blue?”  
“The whole ordeal with your handler, I know what they did to you Bucky. Natasha told me all about it. The red room. All of it. And as much as I know I can't change the past I just wish that could have stopped any of that from happening”  
Bucky stopped walking. His hands clenched into fists by his sides.  
“For the last time Steve, none of this was your fault, so stop acting like the victim!”  
“Me the victim? You're the victim James! And it is all of my fault. If had just gotten to you faster. If I had just moved a little closer, if I had just-” Bucky punched Steve in the jaw.  
“SHUT UP! Steve...you couldn't have saved me. Can we just agree to leave the past in the past once this is over. I want to move on with my life and you should too” Bucky's gaze softened as he saw the large bruise on the side of Steve's face. He had punched him with the metal arm, and Bucky was unsure if the super soldier healing factor counted in the mental version of Steve.  
“I-I'm sorry. I'll leave the past in the past” Steve replied quietly.

Bucky brought his hand up to touch Steve's bruise. The blonde flinched at first before letting Bucky fully touch the site of his injury. Bucky caressed Steve's cheek and every moment of contact left Steve's skin burning with something the blonde couldn't decipher. It wasn't painful though, it was almost calming and pleasurable.

“You wanna know why I punched you?”  
“I was being a jerk?”  
“I remember when we were younger and you would call out bullying and then have a fist fight with the bullies. I punched you because you were being a bully. To yourself, how you have coped so far living like that I have no idea, but you can't carry on like this Stevie. I've just got you back, I don't wanna lose you again.”  
“Bucky I....” He lost himself staring into the blue ocean of Bucky's eyes, something which had lay dormant for so many years was beginning to stir within his heart. Feelings that he had abandoned. Until now.  
“Earth to Steve.”  
“Thank you Buck.” Was all he could say.

A screen flickered on to the left of them and their jaws fell at what they saw. It was a memory of Steve. He was sat a few meters away from another man who looked fairly attractive, his striking green eyes and auburn hair glowing. Eyeing up Steve from the other end of the bar. The man was about to stand up as Bucky joined Steve again.   
“So Stevie, me and Daph are gonna go to the movies, wanna come?”  
“No thanks Buck. I gotta lot of work to catch up on.”  
“Okay well, see yah back at the apartment then.”  
“See you, and have a good time”  
“Will do” The brunette said, dashing out of the bar to meet his date.

Steve sighed and turned his attention back to his sketch book. Steve really didn't drink, he was only at the bar so he could sketch the alcohol counter. Bucky, even though he wasn't with him, had still managed to distract him as he began to think about which movie they were going to see. He barley noticed the green eyed man walk over and sit in the stool next to him.  
“Can I buy you a drink?” The man offered.  
“Huh?” Steve snapped out of his thoughts.  
“Can I buy you a drink?”  
“Oh, thank you but I don't drink.” Steve said politely declining the man's offer.  
“Please excuse me, but if you don't drink what are you doing in a bar?”  
“Sketching the bar. It's for an art project” Steve mumbled.  
“Ah, well all the same I insist you have a drink, after all how can one draw an alcohol counter with truth without actually drinking from it?” The man persuaded Steve.  
“All right, thank you” Steve smiled and the man smiled back.

A few drinks later, after the man kept on insisting and Steve being a people pleaser, took him up on his offer, he decided it was getting late and he had to go home. Although he had only had two small glasses of gin, his head felt like a rock and his whole body had become a sensation of pins and needles. Something wasn't right. The man had kindly offered to walk Steve home and he found himself agreeing despite his best efforts to say no. Was he really this sensitive to alcohol? He had drunk more than this and still felt fine.

They soon turned into a dark alleyway just a street from his apartment when the man overpowered Steve and pushed him into the wall. Steve was frozen, his body unable to do anything but watch as the man brought his hand up to Steve's cheek. His other hand pushing Steve's head back, exposing his neck. The man then proceeded to run his tongue down his jugular. He smiled whilst Steve struggled against the drugs that he had been given. The man's hands became more adventurous as he made sure to touch all of Steve's body. Steve whimpered. He looked into those sinful green eyes.

“Oh, my what a beautiful specimen” The green eyed monster said as he carried on molesting Steve. Part of him broke free from his drug induced cell and he scrambled out of the man's embrace and ran home. He shut the door and put all of the locks into place. He recovered a little before walking into the living room to see Bucky staring back at him with worry.  
“Stevie? What happened, you look like crap?” Bucky noted the love bites and raised his eyebrows.  
“....”  
“So did Mr.Rogers meet a gal?” Steve broke into tears and ran into his bedroom locking his door behind him. Locking out the world for a while.

“Oh my god Steve. That's what happened that night?” Bucky said in shock.  
“It's okay Bucky. I'm over it alright.” He silenced Bucky.

The screen transitioned to show Bucky pacing his apartment.

“Its nine already! He should be home by now” Bucky voiced his concern to his date Daph.  
“Maybe he met someone?” She said trying to ease his mind.  
“It's not like him though Daph”  
“I'm sure he will be fine, you worry to much James. Anyways I have to go” She said before kissing him on the forehead and leaving the apartment.

A few hours later the door had been hastily opened and slammed shut. Bucky could hear the locks being put into place and waited a few minutes before Steve emerged from the hallway looking dishevelled.   
“Stevie? What happened, you look like crap?” He noted the love bites and raised his eyebrows, he was jealous.  
“......”  
“So did Mr. Rogers meet a gal?” Steve's face froze before he burst into tears and ran into his bedroom locking the door.

“Steve. I never-”  
“Bucky. It's fine, I just wanted to forget it”  
“When I touched your cheek.... when you flinched...It was because of him.”  
“Somewhat yes.”  
“I wouldn't ever-”  
“I know Buck I know” Bucky smiled softly and walked slowly over to his friend. He carefully held his hand to Steve's confusion.   
“I won't ever let that happen.”  
“Thanks Buck.” Steve gave the brunette a trusting smile.

“Dobroserdechnyy”


	14. Benign

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies! So i had major writers block, and i'm sorry if this chapter isn't up to par. College is really taking the creative juices outta me, but have no fear, i shall overcome this! Oh also heads up if any of you get the reference in this chapter. Thanks again for the Kudos and see y'all on Sunday ^_^

“Was that Vision?”  
“Y-yeah I think so”  
“Why are all of our friends saying your triggers?”  
“Our friends? So you are trusting them to not give me up to the authorities?”  
“Yes, our friends Buck. Look I told you, Tony has forgiven you. And as for everyone else, they are cool with you.”  
“Okay Stevie. I trust you”

The crackle of static echoed through the abyss of the men's joined minds. This time however, they found no screen in sight. Despite their wandering, they still had failed to locate the source of the hideous noise. 

“Steve what the fuck is going on?”  
“Language Buck.”  
“Really Steve?”  
“Sorry Bucky”  
“Hahaha” Steve giggled.  
“How can you be so calm what if we are dying, what if something went wrong?”  
“Bucky. Look over there.” Steve pointed so matter of factly.

Bucky followed Steve's arm and found himself looking straight at a grass green door, decorated with party banners and balloons. The two super soldiers walked through without a second thought.

“Congratulations to the lovely couple, Mr and Mrs Adler” A tall man with a very suiting moustache announced as a man in a handsome suit and a woman in a snow white dress walked into the ballroom that Steve and Bucky had found themselves in.

“Oh wow, I remember this” Said Bucky.  
“Yeah, the wedding of Will and Grace” Steve said, the nostalgia kicking in.

The announcer paused to let the bride and groom take their seats at the head table. The couple smiled as they passed every table, personally thanking the occupants for being present at the 'biggest day of their life'. After a bit of chit chat and the shaking of hands they sat down on their temporary thrones. The announcer too this as his cue to fill up the room with his words once more.

“Sorry folks, the caterers are running a bit behind so we have decided to move the speeches forward.” He smiled. This was one of Bucky's memories. He was one of the grooms men and soon would be called out to say his speech. He was sat at the end of the head table a few tables away from Steve.

“Thank you for that rather interesting speech Marcus, now onto James Barnes.” The groom looked expectantly towards the brunette.  
“Well, where to start.” The audience laughed “Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. May I first of all introduce myself to those of you who don't know me, or who haven't bought me a drink yet, my name is James. I'm absolutely honoured to be standing here today. I'd like to thank the bridesmaids for not only doing a great job in the church earlier today, but also for helping Grace this morning and getting her ready, calming her nerves. It goes without saying, they all look fantastic, but obviously, not as much as Grace. No doubt everyone here today thought the same two things as Grace walked in the church- firstly how beautiful she looked, and secondly, that Will is MASSIVELY punching above his weight. In all seriousness now though, I'd like to thank Will and Grace for including all of us here on their special day. Especially Ed, who didn't stop the fact he was only invited in the night stop him from being here now. To be honest we should all be saying that, he has been brutal with the guest list. Will is a good friend, who I've had some great times with over the last 10 years, and he's found a true soul mate in Grace. I have absolutely no doubt he'll be just as good a husband, and one day as good a father.” Bucky paused. “Will, Grace, if you could both just look at each other for a moment, don't worry, I'm not doing the "last time you've got the upper hand" gag. I'd like to say that everyone here is so happy that you have found each other, and that you have taken the next step on a long and wonderful life together. And as you sit here, gazing into each other's eyes, never forget that statistically, you are looking at the person most likely to murder you.” This drew out laughs from the audience and Bucky smiled innocently towards them all “Ladies and gentlemen, it has truly been an honour delivering this speech to you, so please, be upstanding, and raise your glasses for the new Mr and Mrs ....hold on, Will hasn't got a drink....I'm not surprised after how many toasts were in his speech....can we get him one” The waiter brought out a rum with a cocktail umbrella in it and handed it to the groom. “ah, there we go......ladies and gentlemen, the new Mr and Mrs!” The crowd erupted into applause and everyone began to be served their meals.

“Wow Bucky, your speeches certainly entertained everyone.”  
“Yeah. I can't wait to get married myself, I mean can you imagine the groom's speech? I'd be a legend.”  
“Yeah...”

Suddenly the room changed, the tables had been pushed back and it was the bride and grooms first dance. They swayed around the room with grace that challenged even the most skilled of dancers. The brides dress flowing naturally with every movement her body made. The song soon finished and the new married couple kissed passionately to finalise the end of the dance. 

“Can we get everyone up on the dance floor please” The announcer said as a romantic slow song began to play. Past Steve and Past Bucky walked onto the dance floor with their dates and began dancing and swaying to the music.

“It was such a wonderful night, wasn't it Buck.”Steve mused.  
“Yeah, but it was missing something.”  
“Missing what?”  
“Us.”  
“Bucky, we weren't missing, look we are right there”  
“Dancing together.”  
“You wanted us to dance together?”  
“Yes.” Bucky said as he held out his non metal arm. “Steven Rogers, may you do me the honour of accepting my invite to dance?”  
“...” Steve hesitated though he knew exactly what he wanted to say. “Yes.”

With that, Bucky brought Steve in close to him, snaking one arm around his waist and his other hand clasping onto Steve's. They swayed in time to the music, never losing eye contact unless it was to blink.  
“This is one of my memories” Steve pointed out.  
“Yeah I guessed so, as all I remember is waking up with an awful headache the next day”  
“Typical” Steve laughed.  
“Do that again”  
“Do what?”  
“Laugh” Bucky said gently. “God I have missed your laugh. Heck I have missed you.”  
“I've missed you too Bucky.” Steve said as Bucky leaned his head on Steve's shoulder.  
“I just want all of this to be over” Bucky said as a few tears fell from his eyes.  
“Shhh, it will be over soon Bucky. Faster than you know it” Steve promised. A promise he hoped he could keep.

“Vozvrashcheniye na rodinu”


	15. Homecoming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive me for it being a shorter chapter but i'm up to my eyeballs in college shizzle right now. Thanks again for the Kudos and I shall talk to you all again on Thursday.

“Hello Mrs Rogers!”  
“James, how are you this morning?”  
“I'm great! Is Steve allowed home today?”  
“Well I have to go and check first, but yes hopefully he will be coming home today.” Sarah Rogers said with a warm smile.  
“Can I come and see him?” Young Bucky asked.  
“Of course James, im sure it will help cheer him up too” 

“Woah, lil Bucky huh” Steve gave a smile matching his mothers.  
“Shut up, wait till you see lil Stevieee” Bucky teased.  
“I still miss her yanno. Everyday, but its not like a longing kinda missing, it more of a blurry photograph of my past now. Is it bad that I don't feel so bad about it anymore?”  
“Nah. You have successfully mourned, that part of your life is over, but she will still live on Steve.” Bucky said as he squeezed Steve's shoulder.

The scene switched to Bucky and Sarah sitting on a bench in central park, wasting a few hours before their appointment time. Sarah had bought Bucky an ice cream as a thank you present.  
“Mrs.Rogers?”  
“Please James just call me Sarah”  
“Sarah?”  
“Yes, James?”  
“What is wrong with Steve?”  
“Ah, well when Steve was born, he wasn't as strong as all of the other babies, he was weaker and his heart and lungs didn't work as well”  
“Oh...why?”  
“I find myself asking that question too, James. Sometimes, unfortunate things happen...”  
“Who did it? I will fight them for you Mrs R”  
“It wasn't anyones fault James. It was just circumstance.”  
“Will he ever get better?”  
“Yes, I believe one day, he will overcome it.”  
“I hope so too Mrs R cus when I grow up im gonna take him around the world, we are gonna climb mountains and walk places and go camping, and he needs to get better so I can show him everything.”  
“Ahhh James, I'm sure you will both be able to do that- don't forget to bring me back a souvenir though okay?”  
“Deal” Bucky giggled as he took another lick of his ice cream.

The scene warped into a cloud of smoke and floated away. 

“Look at you now huh.”  
“What?”  
“All grown up, alive... super soldier man. Been around the world. We went camping.”  
“Yeah we did. Never got her that souvenir though”  
“Hmm yeah.”  
“When we get out of this place, we will do it then.”  
“Deal” Bucky reiterated.

~~

“Natasha!” Wanda said in excitement as she walked up to and hugged the russian.  
“Bruce” She said with distaste and slapped him. Then she gave him an accepting hug, sensing that they were together again.  
“Hello Wanda.” Vision said, still wary of the Scarlett witch after she plunged him deep into the earths crust.  
“Vision.”  
“Okay, talk about a disfunctional family” Clint walked in with his shades on.  
“Aren't you meant to be retired now for like the what fifth time?” Tony said.  
“Third actually” He smiled as he and Tony brohugged.  
“Lets get this rescue mission started then”  
“Ah one teeny, tiny little problem”  
“What is it now?”   
“We need Steve and Bucky”  
“Who wants Schwarma?”

~~

“Steve!”  
“Bucky!” The frail blonde shouted as he tried to run over to the young brunette.  
“How ya been?”  
“Scared Bucky, the other week I didnt think I was gonna wake up” Steve said with a glint of fear in his eyes.  
“Don't be sad” Bucky said as he hugged Steve “You got me and I ain't ever gonna let you not wake up”  
“Thanks Buck.” Steve smiled looking up towards his mother.“Hey ma”

“Thanks Bucky.”  
“What for?”  
“For keeping me afloat, being my placebo”  
“It's nothing, you would have done the same for me.”  
“Everything is so messed up now Bucky.”  
“How so?”  
“I have all these feelings that im only just beginning to understand... feelings that should be wrong but yet they feel so damn right, you know?”  
“Yeah, I know”  
“I'm scared Bucky. Do I act on them or do I risk losing everything over something selfish?”  
“Listen if its about kissing Sharon...”  
“Oh, no that was a huge mistake on my part. I tried to push it away and fake who I was, but that kiss only confirmed it. I don't love her I love-”  
“Shh... save it for when you get out.” Bucky said. Not wanting to find out who Steve really loved, he couldn't stand the thought of someone capturing the heart of HIS Steve. For now he would push that to the back of his mind until he was able to cope with it.

~~

“Schwarma? Really Tony?” Natasha said.  
“Why can't we just take Steve?” Clint questioned.  
“Because his brain is hooked up to Bucky's and separating them would just delete all progress up to this point.”  
“Right, though im surprised him and Bucky haven't hooked up already” Everyone looked towards Clint with fake shock. “Oh come on, don't tell me im the only one who sees it?”  
“No. I see it too but I should warn you all to stay out of it for now, give them both some space.” T'challa interrupted.  
“I need some space” Tony remarked, as he was sandwiched inbetween Bruce and Vision, this earned him a nudge from Bruce.

~~

“Goodnight Steve, goodnight James.” Sarah said as she tucked both boys into bed. It was decided that Steve could have a sleep over, just so he could get settled in again.  
“Goodnight Mrs R”  
“Goodnight ma” She kissed the boys on their forheads and made her bedroom. There was a few moments of silence before Steve moved over and kissed Bucky on the cheek.  
“Goodnight Bucky.”  
“Goodnight Stevie”

“Odin” Sarah whispered.


	16. One

“Its been too long Steve. I can't fucking find anything!” Bucky said in frustration.  
“Bucky! Calm down,we will find it alright?”  
“What if we did something wrong? What if they found where T'challa was keeping me? Steve. What if someone is tampering with us?”  
“I promise you Bucky, we wouldn't still be here if there was something wrong.” The brunettes blue eyes looked up to meet Steve's, his facial expression softened.  
“Okay. Alright. Okay.” Bucky began to calm down. “I could really be doing with a seat right about now” Bucky's wish was fufilled as soon as the words left his lips and a sofa for two appeared in front of them.  
“Woah.” Steve said as he sat down. “Thats nice” He sighed. He too was beginning to feel the toll this mission was taking on him.   
“Say something else.”  
“Uh, I could really be doing with a footrest?” just like before, Bucky's wish came true and he found his feet resting on a foortest.  
“Holy crap!” Bucky said with excitement for the first time in a long time. “You try Steve”  
“I could really be doing with another door.”

~~

“How long is this going to take?” Clint enquired.  
“They are almost done, jesus, you guys are so impatient” replied tony  
“Sorry Mr. Signs contract as quick as possible causing this whole mess and half of the avengers being hunted down”  
“Wanda, it's not-”  
“I'm not speaking to you Vision”  
“GUYS! I am trying to concentrate here” Bruce said, irritated by everyone's constant bickering.

Natasha had hoped that by bringing everyone together they would be able to work out a good strategy fast, but at this pace she wasn't so sure that would work. Wanda was being quite hostile towards vision, Clint was sticking up for Wanda as if she were his own child, Tony and Clint were teasing as usual, and Bruce and T'challa were trying to stay away from all of the drama. Peter was currently attending Xavier's school, Scott was spending some much needed time with his daughter, Sam had informed them that he would be arriving a few days later and Rhodes was still in recovery. On the bright side of things however, Bucky seemed to be making a good recovery and it wouldn't be long now until he and Steve would be able to fight side by side with the rest of the gang.

~~

Whilst they were sat on the sofa a cinema screen had emerged in front of them. Its frame was from the 1930s, yet the scene did not play in black and white, if anything the images that came with it were vibrant and intriguing. The scene showed Steve sleeping on the floor next to Bucky's cryochamber. The scene carried on playing until T'challa appeared, waking Steve up and advising him to sleep in his own room, to which Steve abided. 

The blonde sleepily walked to his room, only to slide against the door once he had shut it, he began to cry. His tears like a waterfall down his face which was dyed red with loss. His hands were in his hair, tugging at the blonde strands. Soon enough, he had fallen asleep in the upright position, his mental fatigue causing him to feel the same way physically.

Time seemed to speed up as the sun rose hastily and beamed its rays through the naked window, landing on Steve's more peaceful sleeping face. He soon woke up, stiff and sore, regretting not making it to the bed where his back wouldn't have suffered so much.  
“What have I become?” He questioned himself.   
He stretched and left the room, still wearing his clothes from the day before.

“Bucky” Steve's throat croaked.  
“Yes Stevie?”  
“I can't hold it in anymore.”  
“Stevie? What's wrong...”   
“It seems like forever, i've been in denial over who I really am. Its funny how can I lead a nation as Captain America if I don't even support and accept myself.”

Steve turned to face Bucky, not breaking eye contact with him. He took a deep breath in, he had never been more confident in a decision he had made in his life.

“James Buchanan Barnes”  
“Steve? What are you-”  
“Bucky.”  
“Yes?” Bucky felt uneasy, wondering what Steve was doing.  
“I'm not in love with Sharon... I was never in love with Peggy though both of them are role model people”  
“Stop Steve, I don't want to hear it” Bucky said thinking that Steve was going to tell him who he loved, he didn't want Steve to be taken away from him by this lady who had caught his fancy.  
“Listen to me Buck.”  
“No. You listen to me, I said save it for later, we have much more important things to be dealing with than talking about the woman that your in love with”

“I was always in love with you”

Bucky froze. His heart had sped up to a dangerous amount of beats and his stomach seemed to be encasing a thousand butterflies. Steve loved him?

“Steve. What are you trying to say?”  
“Bucky.” Steve brought a welcomed hand up to Bucky's cheek. “ Ive been wanting to tell you this, because if we don't make it out here alive, i don't wanna die regretting not saying anything" Bucky didn't know how to feel.  
"You saved my life numerous times, you looked after me when everyone seemed to think my case was hopeless. You accepted me for who I was, before and after the serum. I have felt this way since forever, because James Buchanan Barnes, I am hopelessly, fondly and proudly in love with you and if that is wrong then I don't ever want to be right” When Bucky didn't reply, Steve's hand dropped to the side and he began walking away.

“Steve? Where are you going?” was all Bucky could choke out.  
“To end this” Steve said in a tone of voice that worried Bucky even more. 

 

“Gruzovoy avtomobil”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been so frustrating over the past few chapters to have Steve and Bucky not confess their love for one another, but finally it has happened! Yesssssss.


	17. Freight car

“-why would I do that” Steve smiled.  
“We were right, doctor Zola's on the train. Hydra dispatcher gave him permission to open up the throttle, wherever he is going they must need him back” One of the men said.

Steve and Bucky looked at the man and then at each other. Steve turned towards the zip wire and put on his helmet. The train was approaching fast.

“We only got about a ten second window, if we miss that window we're bugs on a wind shield” Steve said.  
“Mind the gap”  
“Better get moving bugs”

Without hesitation the three men made their way down the zip wire, accelerating towards the train. All three successfully landing on the roof. Their comrade took guard on the roof as Steve and Bucky made their way into one of the cars.

Stealthily they began making their way through the car, both were on the look out for anything suspicious. Steve looked to Bucky and then turned back to where he was previously facing this time picking up the pace of walking. All of a sudden the door closed behind Steve trapping him in one car and Bucky in another. Bucky began to fire at the threat in front of him, whilst Steve turned to face a robotic soldier who began to fire at him.

On the other side Bucky was taking on heavy fire from a group of Hydra agents. Steve deflected a few more bullets before jumping onto a hook suspended from the roof off the car and kicking the robot over. By now Bucky was down to firing his hand gun. Steve grabbed the robots Hydra weapon and fired at the door. He made it to the door that separated himself and Bucky to see that his partner had ran out of bullets entirely. 

Steve pulled out his hand gun and opened the door, throwing the gun to Bucky. He then took off in a sprint and pushed a weapons case forward, hitting causing the Hydra agent to move sidewards and be shot by Bucky.

“I had him on the ropes” Bucky proclaimed.  
“I know you did” Steve reassured him.

A charging noise sounded behind him and Steve threw his shield up in front of him, pushing Bucky out of the way.  
“Get down!” The beam of energy was deflected off of Steve's shield and blew a hole in the side of the car, throwing Steve to the side in the process. 

Bucky picked up Steve's shield and began firing at the robot. It released another beam of energy, pushing the shield back causing Bucky to be thrown out of the car. In a flash, Steve got up, grabbed the shield and threw it with force at the robot, knocking it down a second time. He then rushed out to the opening of the freight car.

“Bucky!” Steve shouted   
“Hang on” He commanded as he made his way over to where Bucky was desperately trying to hold on “Grab my hand” But Steve was too late as he watched his friend fall down, deeper and deeper down, until he could see his friend no more”

“Stop!” Present Steve shouted and with his plea the scene stopped. Frozen.  
“Steve what are you doing?” Bucky said as he went to run after him, but found he too was frozen. The scene rewinded to before Bucky had been flung out of the car. Present Steve took the place of past Steve and he took the wrath of the shields fall back, causing him to be stuck suspended on the outside of the car. Present Bucky became aware that he could move again and he ran to where Steve was now holding on.  
“Steve!” He shouted “Hang on”  
But Bucky was too late.  
“You are safe now...” Steve smiled before the pole gave way and he fell without a sound.

The entire scene turned white as Bucky began to feel something else. He was waking up.

~~

“Tony!”  
“What?” He said as he noticed that Steve had taken on a ghostly pale colour.  
“Shit, T'challa! Bruce! Come quickly!” He demanded as he began to try and resuscitate him.  
“Don't die on me now Steve” Bruce said as he began hooking him up to all kinds of medicines, whilst T'challa checked up on Bucky. However, nothing seemed to be working as Steve grew colder and colder, his pulse becoming fainter and fainter. Then, the machine that showed Steve's heart beat flat lined.

Bucky could hear a little better as he began to adjust to being awake. He could hear mumbled and frantic pleads and screams... and another more consistent and annoying sound which drowned out the others. He opened his eyes, the light becoming more bearable. He sat up with all of his strength and took in the display before him. The mumbled and desperate sounds were Tony, T'challa, Bruce and Natasha crowding over the side of Steve's bed. At first he was befuddled as to why they were making such sounds until he looked over at Steve's machine. The constant noise was coming from it in the form of a straight line. He took in Steve's face, which looked similar to the many times he had been near to death in the past. Though this time, he was really dead.

“Steve.” The rest of the group looked up and over at where Bucky was sat up.  
“Buck-”  
“STEVE!” He shouted as he jumped off of the bed and ran over to Steve's. He checked his pulse to find it non existent. He began to panic more and he accidentally yanked Steve's body from the bed onto the floor with him. There he held the blonde in his arms and rocked him back and forth, refusing to believe that this was the end. 

Still, Steve showed no sign of coming back to the land of the living.  
“God dammit Steve, you can't leave me, I can't lose you again” he cried as he placed his head onto Steve's chest.


	18. Ghuleh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a disgustingly short chapter, and it's late and I didn't update on Thursday. I apologise, i'm just going through some hard stuff right now is all. I will have a Chapter up by Thursday anyways. Thank you for reading, and your tears will soon become tears of joy :)

“Steve... I need you. Please- there is still so much we have to do!” The endless tears were flowing from Bucky's bloodshot eyes. “I'm in love with you too!You punk!” He screamed, his hands desperately clutching onto Steve's lifeless vessel.

A crowd of the present watched the spectacle before them. Wanda was holding Vison's hand with a death grip, Natasha and Bruce were holding each other whilst Clint and Tony remained at their original position. In his mind, Tony refused to believe that Steve Rogers was dead... he began to blame himself, however, Steve did say that if they were to save only one of them, he instructed them to save Bucky. That's exactly what Steve did. Usual. Stubborn man that he was. Sacrificing himself for others. It wasn't fair!

“I'm sorry...if I had just told you this back in Brooklyn, no matter the consequences.” Bucky brought his new prosthetic hand to Steve's colourless face, and lowered his head so his lips could meet Steve's.

~~

“Peter Parker”  
“Here ma'am” He said as he slipped a piece of paper to the table next to him. The girls name was Gwen, she read the piece of paper and sniggered, causing the teacher to avert her attention to the blonde. Without a word, she pointed to Peter, wrote down a slip of altercation and handed it to him. He got up with a disapproving sigh and made his way to the College's detention facility.

“Peter? What are you doing here?”  
“Oh, hi doctor Connors. I passed a note to Gwen” He explained.  
“Ah, yes well Mrs. Shears has always been-”  
“You can do way better” A voice came from within the stacks of books encased in bookshelves.  
“Excuse me?” Peter said as he turned toward the voice.  
“Gee. Learn how to take a compliment, why do I even try? Oh that's right Wade because you have nothing better to do right now apart from read all this drabble written by boring people.” The voice noticed Peter staring and began to introduce himself when Dr. Connors took control of the conversation.  
“Peter Parker this is Wade Wilson, Wade Wilson this is Peter Parker” He said and with that he left the room eager to get away from Wade's wall of questions.  
“Woah. Our names are so great aren't they? Like did we just become best friends?!” Wade squealed.   
“Nice to meet you Wade.” Peter held out his hand for Wade to shake in the attempt to perhaps tame this nutcase. Wade responded by pulling Peter into a crushing hug. Military, upper body strength, possible PTSD or other psychological problems, Peter had deduced. Wade had done the same. Firm shape, geek kid disguise, muscles?! Little mental instability, secret identity...  
“So who are you?”  
“Oh sorry, I'm Wade Wilson I just moved here”  
“Okay”  
“OKAY?! Is that all I get? No are you rich or how come you speak to yourself or why are you lying about moving when really you got transferred from care home to care home”  
“Nope”  
“YOU. I like this one, he seems feisty and maybe wont be a complete asshole huh? Be careful wade.”  
“Um, Wade. Do you usually speak your thoughts out loud”  
“Yeah, sorry i-”  
“No need to apologise, I was just curious”  
“How old are you anyways?”  
“Im turning eighteen in a few weeks, you?”  
“Nineteen.”  
“Well its been nice talking to you Wade. See you around.” Peter waved goodbye to Wade and exited the room.

“I want that one! Calm down Wade, don't screw it up.”

~~

Bucky had lifted his head from the short and bittersweet kiss. This was his way of saying goodbye to Steve, his eyes had slowed down the tears considerably, but that didn't mean that he felt the loss any less.

“Bucky! Do that again” Wanda shouted.  
“What?”  
“Kiss Steve again” She demanded.  
“Wanda what-”  
“Just do it” Bucky brought Steve's lips to his once more, this time a noticeable warmth was emanating not just from his lips, but from Steve's too. He moved his lips away from the Blondes and he could see colour forming once more on the cheeks of Steve.

“Get him back on the bed” Tony ordered, Steve was barely alive and would likely die again and permanently if they didn't take action quickly. Bucky glued himself to the side of Steve's bed whilst the others were trying their hardest to fix his soldier, his Stevie. If he knew one thing for sure, it's that he would never take Steve for granted ever again. He just hoped he would survive so he could prove himself to the amazing man who lay in front of him.


	19. Love is a thing to become

“Will he be alright?” Bucky said, choking on his words.  
“We will have to wait a couple of hours to know for sure” Banner replied.  
“What caused this?” Tony asked himself, but Bucky took it on himself to respond.  
“He switched places...”  
“What?”  
“On the train, the day I fell. He changed it all. He-I-he was the one to be thrown out, he was the one who fell. He sacrificed himself for me.”  
“That explains his brain activity then. His brain thinks it is dead, therefore why he did die.” Bruce deduced.  
“We can fix it can't we?” Tony challenged.  
“Sure we can” Bruce responded.

Bucky pulled Tony to one side of the room. Tony let him, his mind curious as to what James had to say at such an urgent time.

“Listen, Tony about the things I did...to your parents and everyone else I've ever robbed of life. I can't apologize enough and if that means that you hate me for all of eternity then that's fair game, I just don't want Steve in the middle of this.” Bucky said breathless.  
“James. I can't blame you for it, and yes I still feel resentment towards you. However, I would like us to be friends, for Steve's sake and for my sake and yours.” Tony held out his hand for Bucky to shake. Bucky leaned towards Tony and was pulled into a hug by the smaller man. For a few moments they held each other, before Bruce interrupted their bonding moment.  
“He is fully stable, we just have to wait for him to wake up”

~~

“So Pete, would you like to come to Aliana's party tomorrow night?”  
“Uh, I don't know I have a lot homework...”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah, plus I've got a record to keep up with, Mary-Jane”

The redhead sighed at Peter's reluctance to attend. He had always found a way to wriggle out of any invitations to attend parties on account of his 'homework'. He gave her a common apologetic smile, thinking she would let him off like she always did. He would have been successful if Gwen hadn't approached the pair. Her eye's gleaming and smile plastered on her face.

“Did I hear someone say party?”  
“No.” Peter groaned.  
“Yes, myself and Peter are going, would you like to come?”  
“Sure” She smiled. “MJ can you help me with my welding piece?”  
“Alright, see you at the party Pete.” She said as she rushed off with Gwen.  
“Ugh” 

Peter got up from the bench, brushing off the crumbs that had gathered on his clothes from devouring a Cadbury flake. He collected up his books and decided that before he went home he would make another stop at the library if he wanted to get full marks on his next test.

He opened the library doors, everything seemed normal, that was until he heard a deep voice cursing. Its owner hidden behind the far left bookshelf. Exactly where the book was that Peter required. He recognised the voice slightly but couldn't produce a face until he went over to the bookshelf. 

“SHIT NUGGETS!”  
“Woah, Wade was it?” Peter asked.  
“Oh, please pardon my french.”  
“Are you alright?”  
“Does it LOOK like I am alright?”  
'Now now Wade the young man was only asking'  
“Okay whatever. Sorry”  
“Its alright, do you need any help?” Peter asked.  
“I need a fucking miracle at this point.” Wade said as he gestured to the chair next to him. Peter took a seat.  
“So what is it?”  
“Poetry...”  
“Poetry? So you study English here?”  
“No...I...its a mini-assignment. My shrink thinks that I need to express myself better and what better way she says than to look at some poetry and then write my own.” Wade said with sarcasm.  
“What poet is it?”  
“Sri Chinmoy”  
“What poem?”  
“Love is a thing to become”  
“Do you want to read it to me?”  
“Love is not a thing to understand, love is not a thing to feel. Love is not a thing to give and receive. Love is a thing only to become and eternally be.”  
“Wow.”  
“I know right. This sucks.”  
“Its pretty easy once you get into it, think about it, we just have to split it up into sections”  
“Okay, Love is not a thing to understand”  
“Hmm, perhaps he is trying to imply that Love is mysterious.”  
“Good,” Wade said as he wrote what Peter said into his notebook.  
“Love is not a thing to feel, uh, maybe saying that we have felt love since the beginning and therefore we are already accustomed to the feeling it”  
“Mhuh” Wade said scribbling done some more notes.  
“Love is not a thing to give or receive... infers love is a natural thing”  
“Brilliant, go on” Wade said, his gaze now fully on Peter, taking fewer notes now.  
“Love is a thing only to become and eternally be? What do you think Wade?”  
“Love is maybe something to strive for, if you can love someone or learn to love yourself then you will have a happy eternity”  
“That's great”  
“Great? I sound like a fortune cookie.” Wade laughed, Peter laughed too. He enjoyed Wade's company.

He began to get up and made his way to the shelf once more to pick up the book he needed. He noticed that Wade has stopped laughing and looked a little lonely sat there on a Friday evening in a library. He knew the perfect way to make him feel better.

“There is this party tomorrow night, I didn't really wanna go but ive been strung into it...would you like to go with me?”  
“Me? Are you sure?”  
“Yeah, I mean if you aren't busy or anything...”  
“Yeah, why not”  
“Great, well let me give you my number and I will text you the address.” Peter as he found a scrap of paper to write his number on.  
“Thanks again.”  
“No problem, see you Saturday”


	20. Never a dull moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I haven't uploaded in ages. Forgive me.

“How are you doing Bucky?” Natasha asked.  
“So much has changed huh.”  
“Well compared to the 1940s, I guess so.”  
“So what are the laws around these parts?”  
“Well, we have a little more equality than before, education is a bigger focus... and loving the same gender isn't illegal any more” Natasha added the last part in an attempt to make Bucky worry less.  
“It is?”  
“Yes, a few civil rights movements have taken place.”  
“Natasha, I need you to be one hundred percent honest with me.”  
“Of course what is it?”  
“How has Steve really been, don't sugar coat it like everyone else alright, I want to know the truth.”  
“Bucky I-”  
“Please Nat, I want to-I need to help him.”  
“Well when he was defrosted, it was all too much for him. He was a man from another time, it took awhile for him to adjust to everything, and he was pretty much alone in terms of anyone being around who was in his situation. That's when things went really down hill.”  
“Down hill?”  
“Listen I'm only telling you this because I don't want it to happen again.”  
“Go on.”  
“He became...reckless. He starved himself, disregarded his health, he became someone else. He would go through periods of not leaving his room for days on end, and when he would go out we wouldn't see him for a few days, he left without any money so we had no idea where he stayed or how he ate.”  
“Jesus”  
“And it got to the point where he tried to...”  
“Tried to what?”  
“I can't. You will have to ask him that.”  
“Natasha.”  
“I have to help Bruce with something, take care of him will you?” She said as she got up.  
“I will.”

~~

“Peter, come on we are going to be late to the party!” Gwen shouted.  
“Do I really have to go?”  
“Yes!”  
“Ugh”  
“Come on Peter, be social for once in your life.”  
“Alright, alright.” He laughed.

Peter didn't fuss to much about his appearance, after all he usually blended in looking like his normal, geeky self. He moved his head to look at the clock on his bedroom wall. Wade had texted him saying that he would be at the party too. At least Peter would have someone to talk to. He yawned, stretched his arms out and opened his bedroom door. Gwen was on the other end, she wasn't surprised that Peter hadn't made much of an effort in terms of outfit choice. They still had an hour to kill before the party started, and they decided to take the long route to the party through central park.

It was dark and cold. Elements that seemed to go against Gwen's choice of clothes, which led to Peter giving her his jacket. They agreed to meet up with Mary Jane on the way and the trio began to walk though the park. Peter was extra vigilant with criminals using the park at this time of night as their operating ground during the evenings. On this particular night the criminals seemed to stay on the low and the three of them didn't encounter any threats. Finally, they found themselves at the doorstep of the party.

Gwen introduced Mary Jane and Peter to the proprietor of the party, a girl named Alice, who to Peter seemed to have very rich parents judging by the Porsche outside of the 'small' mansion. Gwen went off with her, leaving Mary Jane and Peter to mingle by themselves. Mary Jane went to get a drink whilst Peter looked around for Wade. After searching the entire place and witnessing some rowdy events, he gave up and went outside for some much needed fresh air.

“You look troubled.” Wade said as he walked up the driveway of the mansion.  
“You.” Was all Peter could say.  
“Yes, me. Sorry I'm late, I had to help my foster mother build some Ikea shelves.”  
“Oh. No need to apologize.”  
“Are you alright?”  
“Yes, why do I look bad?” Peter said suddenly becoming self conscious.  
“No, you look real pretty. Something seems to be bothering you.”  
“I-no-I-it's nothing.” Peter stuttered. 

Before Wade could speak again, a tall, well built man walked out the front door and drunkenly put his arm around Peter. This caused Peter to let out a yelp in surprise.

“H-heyy, did anyone-did-di-anyone tellyou, tell you that you are very cute” The man hiccuped.   
“Hey, Mr.Burly, would you mind taking your dirty hands off of him.” Wade said angrily, noticing Peter's apprehension of the situation.  
“But-but I wanna take him... him home.” The man replied. In a flash Wade had pushed the drunken man's arm away from Peter and restrained it behind the man's back.  
“Owww you're hurtin mee.”  
“Stay away from him, got it?”  
“Yeah, sure man. I'm sorry.”  
“Good. Now go and have another drink.” Wade said calmly as he opened the front door for the man to go inside.

“Thank you Wade.”  
“No problem Pete.”  
“Pete?”  
“Yeah. Why don't you like it?”  
“Uh, no its fine I was just wondering.”  
“Do you wanna stay here at this drab of a party or come with me and do something exciting?” Wade asked, like a giddy child.  
“With you.” Peter said without considering exactly what he was letting himself in for.

It seemed that this Wade character had turned Peter less vigilant than usual, he rarely ever went right along with something without thinking about it first. Whatever it was that Wade did to make him feel so...so calm and confident, he wasn't going to complain about it.

Wade walked back towards central park, Peter by his side. Part of Peter wanted to know where exactly they were going and what the exciting thing was, another part of him didn't care at all about their destination and seemed to just value the company of someone who wouldn't judge him. 

A while later they arrived at their destination. A nightclub. Peter's first instinct was to run in the opposite direction, however, Wade's presence seemed to have him on a leash and he found himself walking inside with Wade. The strobe lights and loud noise were uncomfortable at first, but Peter soon got used to it. Through the crowd he seemed to lose Wade which sent him into full panic mode. He tried to make his way back out when a hand caught him by the arm. It was Wade, who had concern written all over his face.

“Are you alright?” He shouted over the music.  
“Yes. I just.” Peter began to think of an excuse. “I need a drink.”  
“Alright, hold on.” Wade instructed as he grabbed Peter's hand and made his way through the thick crowd.  
“Hey bartender, can I get a beer and this gentleman will be having a...” Wade trailed off.  
“Orange juice please.” Peter finished for him, earning a questionable look from the bartender.

The two got their drinks and sat down at an unoccupied booth. They took a few sips of their beverages and then made their way onto the dance floor. Usually, Peter would have not gone up to dance, but on this occasion his new found confidence, courtesy of Wade had allowed him to do so. Wade guided him through what kind of moves to do depending on what kind of song was playing. After a few tracks had played, they went back to their beverages, the dancing had left them thirsty. Peter downed the rest of his, however, it seemed to taste differently than before which cause him to screw up his face. This immediately was caught by Wade.

“What's wrong?”  
“It tasted funny.”  
“Shit. Follow me.” Wade abruptly made his way to the exit.  
“What's going on?” Peter asked.  
“Make yourself throw up.”  
“What?”  
“Your drink has been spiked, I suggest you throw it up before god knows what that substance does to you.”  
“I...so...tired. Can I. H-help you!” The substance had almost instantly began to take effect.  
“Fucking Christ.” Wade said as he caught the now falling Peter, he put his fingers down the other young man's throat, but despite Wade's best effort he didn't get Peter to throw up.  
“Jesus, do you even have a gag reflex?” He asked the now unconscious Peter.

He checked Peter's vitals, everything was normal. He didn't know where Peter lived, so he decided to take him home for the night so he could recover. He picked up the lighter male and slung him over his shoulder and began to make his way home.

“There really is never a dull moment with you is there?”


	21. Hogmanay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New year guys! My new years resolution is to get this story finished. Sorry for not posting for almost two months. Have a good one lovelies x

“You always have to be the hero don't you? Putting everyone first and dismissing yourself.” Bucky sighed, brushing back the stray strands of Steve's hair from his face. Bucky noted that Steve had let it grow since the last time they met. The words of Natasha still circled within his mind. How far had Steve really strayed from the path? Another thought had presented itself, what exactly was the relationship between himself and Steve... they were best friends sure, but the thought of anything else had become foreign since his denial about the feelings he had towards the blonde a long time ago. He sighed once more, and decided to give the unconscious Steve a break.

“How is he Bucky?” Tony inquired, worry clear in his voice despite their differences.  
“He hasn't woke up yet... can I ask you something?”  
“Sure, what is it?”  
“I have some things I need to arrange, could you help me?”  
“Of course.” Tony smiled.

Natasha took Bucky and Tony conversing to be a good sign. Despite Steve being in a coma like condition for almost a week, nothing seemed to have changed from that day. Sam had managed to help Natasha and Clint locate a rough location where they were holding pepper, if it wasn't for Vision Natasha was sure Tony would have gone in guns blazing, without a plan and gotten both himself and Pepper killed. 

Everything seemed to be on the verge of breaking, Natasha just hoped that they could work everything out. There was always a way right?

A light shadow hung over a tall man. A man of blue,blonde and porcelain white, began to regain consciousness.

With a Jerk, Steve's body adjusted to being free from the paralysing state he was previously in. He blinked a few times, the lights in the room quite bright. He was awake... at least that's what he hoped. Too often he had encountered dreams where he supposedly 'woke up' only to find himself tricked by his mind. Steve found he could move his arms and legs and began to slowly get up from the bed, detaching all of the wires and tubes that had been put into him. Once stood up he began to sway from side to side: his legs out of practice. To make matters worse he was dressed in a hospital gown.   
“I need to get changed.” He said aloud.

Steve found some clothes on a nearby chair as though someone was expecting him to wake up soon. Once dressed, he checked the time on his mobile telephone device to see that it was almost midnight, December 31st 2016. He had been out for a week. He had missed Christmas! Gently putting the device into his pocket he went out of the room to search for the others.

“Thanks again Tony. I really appreciate it” Bucky smiled.  
“Like I said, its no problem really.” He began to return the smile, only to look behind Bucky and see Steve making his way into the room. His smile slowly became a look of shock.  
“Tony? Are you alrig-” Bucky began to say as he turned to see what had silenced Tony.

It was Steve. He still looked a little frail, however, he looked miles better than he did when he was dying in Bucky's arms. Steve froze at the sudden attention of everyone in the group.

“Sorry if I'm interrupting anything.” He said softly, due to his disused vocal chords.  
“YOU IDIOT!” Natasha shouted as she ran over to him, crushing him in a hug.

The room applauded with laughter and applause. To Steve they all seemed physically and mentally exhausted. He hugged Natasha back, it was great to see her.

“Hey Nat.”  
“Steven Rogers. You owe me big time.” She laughed.  
“Alright.” He joined in.

Natasha made her way back over to Bruce who walked towards Steve and shook his hand.

“Welcome back Steve, and thank you.”  
“Thank me?”  
“Yeah, if you hadn't of done this we wouldn't have made such a scientific breakthrough.” He smiled.  
“Your welcome Dr. Banner. I'm glad I helped.” Steve said as he noticed Tony joining them.  
“Hello Rogers.” He said flatly.  
“Hello Stark.” Steve replied.  
“Its good to have you back Capsicle.”   
“You too Tony.” Steve smiled as Tony gave him a bro hug and went back to being a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist. 

“Mr. Rogers, I don't think it was wise to get up so fast.” Vision suddenly appeared with Wanda.  
“I'm sure he will be alright.” Wanda gave Steve his third hug of the day.  
“Thanks Vision, Wanda.” 

“Ehem” Tony coughed, on queue everyone but Bucky left the room. Steve hadn't planned what to say to Bucky, in fact he was scared that perhaps Bucky only said those things to make Steve feel better whilst they were in each others minds. A silence fell over the room. The two turned their attention to one another. Steve walked over to Bucky.

“How are you feeling?” Steve asked.  
“How am I feeling?” Bucky laughed.  
“What?”   
“Come here.” Bucky pulled Steve into his fourth hug. Though this hug was different, Bucky held Steve as if his life depended on it. Suddenly, everyone burst into the room.

“10.9.-!” They shouted as they rushed to the balcony to get ready to view the spectacular fireworks show.  
“Steve. I have to tell you something.”  
“Yes?”  
“7.6-!”  
“I can't exactly put it into words.”  
“4.3-”  
“Wha-” Bucky brought his lips to meet Steve's.  
“HAPPY NEW YEAR!”


	22. No time for celebration

Steve was shocked at first, he wanted to kiss back, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He had dreamed about kissing Bucky, but none of his fantasies had matched up to the real thing. His heart felt less empty and his mind reached a new calm. The warmth of the brunettes lips on his, the strangled breaths of both men... their hearts beginning to heal. However, Steve was beginning to forget his mission. If he wanted to end Hydra he couldn't get too attached. He hastily pulled away from Bucky.

“There's no time for celebration. We'll start preparing tomorrow.” Steve said mechanically. To the surprise of those on the balcony who were in utter disbelief.  
“Steve-” Tony cut in.  
“Tony. They have pepper, or did you forget?” He said coldly. He didn't want to be like this. It was his duty to protect them, and if that meant they would hate him after this was over, he would be content with the outcome.  
“Everyone get some sleep.” And with that he walked out of the room, down the corridor and to his own room.

“Um... that went well?” Tony broke the silence.  
“He's right.” Natasha said and walked out with Bruce in pursuit.   
“Bucky, are you okay?” Wanda asked.

He didn't reply. Had he gone to fast? Possibly. Something else seemed to be picking at Steve though. Bucky could feel it when their minds were merged together. Something darker and heavy.

~~

“Wh-where am I?” Peter shakily asked, protecting his eyes from the bright lights with the back of his hand.  
“Pete, its me Wade.” Wade whispered so as to avoid giving Peter a headache.  
“Wade. What happened?”  
“Some asshat spiked your drink and you kinda collapsed, so I took you to my place. You're free to leave whenever you like, I would have dropped you off home but you never told me where you lived.” Wade said, expecting Peter to scold him.  
“Thank you.” Peter half smiled, before succumbing to sleep again.  
“You're welcome.”

~~

“Don't beat yourself up about it.” Natasha said as she sat next to him on the kitchen island. Dawn was just about to break, and the dark sky began to turn a lighter shade of blue.  
“How can I not?” Bucky shot Natasha a helpless look.  
“I'm scared for him too, you know. Its almost as if-” She stopped herself.  
“As if? Please Natasha no more secrets.” Bucky pleaded.  
“As if he has an ulterior motive as well as saving Pepper.”  
“Yeah its bringing down Hydra? Isn't it?”  
“I don't know any more Bucky.” She frowned.  
“What room is he staying at?”  
“107-shit” Natasha slipped out.  
“I'm going to sort this out.” Bucky said.

The brunette shot up from his seat and paced to room 107. The number reminded Bucky of the days before he had left for war. When he first told Steve that he *would be shipped out, the 107th. He should have been smarter than that. War hardly ever makes anything better. When you become a soldier it was almost impossible to go back. Bucky hoped that after this, he and Steve could leave this lifestyle, or at least take a break for a little while. Steve may have Physically been suited for war after his transformation, but he wasn't fully mentally prepared for it.

*knock*

No answer came from the door.

*knock*

No answer once again. Luckily Bucky had great lock picking skills and a few seconds later began to open the now unlocked door.

“Steve?” He called out into the darkness of the room.  
“Go away.” The figure enveloped in darkness replied.  
“What are you a teenager?” Bucky replied, trying to lighten the mood.  
“Please Bucky... go away.”  
“Steve I can't do that.”  
“Yes you can. I wont ask you again”  
“Steve, please just-”  
“GO AWAY!” Steve shouted and punched Bucky's chest with a force that threw the brunette back out the door and into the hallway wall. Without saying anything else Steve shut his door and locked it again. 

He was about to get back up and knock on Steve's door again when Tony who had seen the whole ordeal stopped him.

“Woah there soldier, I wouldn't do that if I were you.”  
“Why not?”  
“Unless you like being slammed against a wall by Capsicle then go ahead but in my experience it's not so grand.”  
“Your experience?” Bucky said with a raised eyebrow.  
“Walk with me?”  
“Fine.” Bucky agreed reluctantly.

The two men began walking away from Steve's room. Tony knew Steve wasn't doing so well, but to see him attack Bucky like that. Someone who Tony knew Steve loved the most. That was a major red flag.

“So, your experience?”  
“When I first got here, I wanted to make sure Steve was okay so I went to his room and he was asleep, so naturally being myself I woke him up. This seemed to startle him and he slammed me into the wall.”  
“I'm sure I'd do the same thing if someone woke me up out of the blue.”  
“Yes. But after it he practically broke down and started crying, I had to give him a hug to console the poor Cap.”  
“He does seem on edge a lot, when our minds were joined together I felt it, a sickness almost. An overbearing feeling of hopelessness.”  
“I look forward to ending this once and for all.” Tony said picking up two champagne glasses and handing one to Bucky.  
“To Steve.” He toasted.  
“To Steve” Bucky replied.

“Boys!” Natasha shouted over to them.  
“Yes?” Tony replied.  
“We have a big day tomorrow, please get some sleep. You both look kinda worn out.”  
“Is that supposed to be a compliment?” Tony teased.  
“Perhaps.” She said before returning to her room.


	23. Wade's day off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've decided to keep things happening with Peter and Wade in Separate chapters for now just to make sure there is no confusion and so the chapters are a little more neater.

"Pe..." A soft voice whispered into his ears. Though he could not pinpoint who. He kept his eyes closed, half dreaming half awake.  
"Pete" The voice repeated, a little louder this time but the other male once again didn't respond.  
"PETER PARKER YOU LAZY ENCYCLOPEDIA OF EVERYTHING! GET UP!" At the sudden outburst Peter jerked up and headbutted Wade, with a force that would leave a bruise later.  
"Well ouch." Wade said smiling at him.  
"Oh i'm so sorry! Do you have some ice i can stop the swelling with?" Peter panicked. He had never hurt anyone who hadn't meant him harm before, only the occasional punch to the bad guys who didn't surrender. About that. He hadn't been Spider-Man for god knows how long. How many days had he been out for?  
"Chill, it won't leave any marks." This earned him a questioning look from Peter. "But boy can your scrawny ass pack a punch." "I uh..." Wade began to think up a believable excuse "Just heal kinda fast, I guess i have some pretty cool genetics."  
"Oh, you've given me an idea. If you don't mind that is." Peter began to babble on.  
"What is it?" Wade asked with interest.  
"I'm doing a science project, and I desperately need to win to pass this year. Plus i kinda promised Professor Xavier that I'd try my hardest to not flunk everything."  
"And this involves me how?" He was now looking at Peter seriously. He knew what he was going to ask but wanted to hear him say it anyway.  
"Can i study your healing abilities, with it i could string up enough to pass the term and get my grades back on track. You don't have to, i know its a big ask but-"  
"I have a few conditions."  
"Go on."  
"One: i want in the loop, no secrets hidden from me buddy involving the project. Two: That makes us science buddies. Cool. Three: You may find things from this project that only you will be aware of, please if it doesn't need to be put in a paper, don't put it there. Deal?"  
"What kind of things?"  
"Deal?"  
"Deal."

The two young men spent the rest of the afternoon searching through the Xavarian library's vast amount of books, hoping to find an interesting topic to link to the project. So far they had nothing. Wade had driven them there in his car, which for some reason surprised Peter. Perhaps Wade wasn't as much of a loose canon as he had thought. They both were out of ideas so decided to finally raise the white flag and ask for help. Peter had reiterated to Wade that Professor Xavier had said he would also help but he couldn't do the work for them. That made Wade rethink his strategy. He was only interested in the project because it would help Peter. They soon found themselves outside his office, both feeling nervous for seemingly no reason.

"Come in." A voice from behind the door said.  
"Hey Professor." Peter smiled getting ready to explain.  
"So you need something to compare in your project?" Charles replied.  
"Uh, yeah." Peter said, he had forgotten the ability which the professor had for a moment.  
"Well you both have special abilities, why not compare those?" He said matter-of-factly.  
"Special abilities?" Wade asked. "Listen prof i wasn't born this way, i wouldn't call it special."  
"Wade Wilson, you have an 'ability' nonetheless and Peter has his. You may not have been born with it but its still there, you cannot ignore it."  
"hmph" Wade went to get up, when Peter started yapping again.  
"Professor, how can we compare when the both of us weren't born with these gifts?"  
"Comparing doesn't always mean differences Peter. Take some time to think about it, you have a few months left to get it done." Charles smiled before Erik walked into the room and walked out with Charles.

Once they were outside, Peter was grabbed by his arms and spun around by Wade who seemed to be over the moon.

"Wade! what are you doing?"  
"I thought i was the only one in this place who wasn't gift born. You know how shitty that was for me? To be looked down upon as an inferior to all these douchebags."  
"They aren't douchebags Wade. They don't look down on you or me, its all in your head." This comment seemed to trigger something in Wade as he froze.  
"Oh you have no idea what's in my head!" Wade blew up. "You are just like the rest of them! So demeaning and superior thinking you know everything about me like i'm some easy to read infants picture book!"  
"Woah Wade. Calm down, look i'm sorry for saying that." Peter thought for a little while before speaking again. Wade seemed to have calmed down. "You're right i don't know everything about you, but if you'll show me, i would like to get to know you better."

Peter waited for Wade to reply. But he didn't get one. Instead Wade walked over to his car, got in and drove off. Peter felt bad for Wade. Wade was right, he was being kind of demeaning and he really didn't have a clue what was going on in Wades head. The only thing he could remember were the voices that Wade seemed to characterise out-loud, but he had only encountered that once when he first met the older teen. Since then the voices seemed to have failed to resurface.

He took the bus home. His aunt was talking to Mr.Stark's representative about some mission blah blah blahh. Honestly, Peter felt exhausted. He should have been anxious about the unsure future of his science project but instead he was anxious for Wade. He had know what it was like to be crapped on by people who didn't understand his gift, then he was sought out by Professor Xavier and for the first time he felt proud of his ability. He took a shower, ate some leftover quiche and went to bed. It was a Monday. They had a week off for repairs to one of the buildings 'testing' facilities. Apparently, one of the newer students had blown up the entire west wing. Poor kid. Just as Peter's heavy eyelids began to close, there was a chime that came from his phone. He unlocked it to see a message from Wade.

  
Hey Pete. Sorry for earlier... you wanna hang out tomorrow and start this thing?  
It's cool if you don't want me to be your friend anymore. I get it.  
See you around 10. Or not.  
-Wade

Peter smiled. Perhaps he could fix things now and really get to know Wade. He was curious to know his backstory and maybe he would be able to tell him his own,

10 sounds great :) Goodnight Wade.  
-Peter


	24. Like a stone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo I'm back, forgive me for taking two months for another chapter.

“Hey Tony.” Bruce mumbled as he slumped into the room of operations, with a kitchen within, T'challa insisted he have it installed as they would be spending many hours inside.  
“Hey Bruce.” Tony said blankly. Bruce knew that Tony wasn't doing so great, he was risking a lot to save a potentially dead Pepper. But that was tomorrow, so Bruce switched the subject quickly.

January 12th was a cold day in Wakanda. The wind had begun to moan as if it were mourning. The crew had spent the last two weeks preparing for the rescue mission. Tony had managed to hold his grievances in and sweet talk a reversal of the accords: with Hydra making a comeback the big shots couldn't deny that they needed the 'Avengers' help. Bruce's hard work had paid off, as his new found self control meant he could be trusted to stay level headed and not obliterate everyone. As for vision and Wanda, they were off on a lead relating to 'Thanos', a being that Vision had dreamed about and didn't like the look of. It seemed the only ones that could attend the rescue were Tony, Bruce, Natasha, Steve and Bucky... and Clint who seemed to have a love hate relationship with retirement. Tony didn't want to include the others that fought at the airport, they all had other things to do.

Steve carried on barely speaking to anyone, unless it was about the mission. Then he could talk for days. Bucky had felt awful about the whole situation.

“What have I done to him Nat?” He asked, exhausted.  
“You haven't done anything Bucky. Its just-”  
“I was such an idiot to kiss him like that, I should have know the things I feel for him are one-sided. My mind must've been playing tricks with me when I was under.If I had just-”  
“Stop. He is ignoring all of us, not just you. Really Bucky, you did nothing wrong.”  
“I suppose. I just want my happy Stevie back.” This plucked at Natasha's recently tuned heartstrings.

Of course, Steve knew how much he was hurting the others. However, he couldn't give them hope. He had to prepare them, they must be able to live without him. It was difficult for him not to strike up a conversation with Natasha, tease Tony, laugh with Vision, Wanda and Clint. To not make small talk with T'challa and Bruce.

Most of all, it was utter hell to see Bucky's look of absolute grief appear every time he stepped into the same room as the brunette and to not be able to kiss his agony away. He couldn't risk it not with his friends lives on the line.It was the evening Steve had woken up. After he had been in Bucky's mind and almost died permanently. 

**With a Jerk, Steve's body adjusted to being free from the paralysing state he was previously in. He blinked a few times, the lights in the room quite bright. He was awake... at least that's what he hoped. Too often he had encountered dreams where he supposedly 'woke up' only to find himself tricked by his mind. Steve found he could move his arms and legs and began to slowly get up from the bed, detaching all of the wires and tubes that had been put into him. Once stood up he began to sway from side to side: his legs out of practice. To make matters worse he was dressed in a hospital gown.**  
**  
**Steve found some clothes on a nearby chair as though someone was expecting him to wake up soon. Once dressed, he checked the time on his mobile telephone device to see that it was almost midnight, December 31st 2016. He had been out for a week. He went to leave the room when a small black envelope caught his eye. ********

****

****

********

It wasn't a threat. It was a promise. Hydra would let Pepper and the other hostages go if he turned himself in willingly. He could save his friends for the exchange of his life. The letter never mentioned him dying but he deduced that once the serum was taken from him he'd most likely shrivel up and die. After all, he was almost a hundred years old. He had no other choice.

He awoke from his nightmare; it consisted of everyone dying as Steve tried to save them. He checked his watch. 2:03a.m. They would be on their way to Tako island in a few hours. His last hours with them. He tried not to think about it as he got dressed and made his way to the room of operations. He wasn't surprised to see Tony awake: nervously sipping his extra strong coffee. Tony looked like he'd seen a ghost when Steve approached him. The blonde gave him a small smile and poured himself some cereal. 

What struck Tony as odd was that Steve sat with Tony instead of skulking back to his room. He sent the cap a questioning look.

“Good morning Tony.” Steve said, his voice husky from inactivity.  
“Wow he finally talks” Natasha walked in with Bruce.  
“Shhh guys we don't want to scare him back to his room.” Wanda joked and Vision laughed.  
“Good morning guys... where's Clint?”  
“He's getting old Steve, he's getting his beauty sleep.” She smiled. He would let them have this at least.

There was a loud intake of breath from the doorway getting everyone's attention.

“Good morning Bucky.” Steve smiled over to him.  
“...” Bucky was speechless. Those sorrow filled eyes stabbed Steve in the heart once more. There must have been and invisible announcement as everyone but Bucky left the room. Steve was having deja vu. He thought back to what happened at New years. How he had wanted to kiss Bucky back so badly. Despite the letter and his plan of separating himself from the others, he couldn't deny Bucky this.

“Steve.” Bucky choked out.  
“Yes?” Steve smiled, comforting Bucky a little more.  
“Forgive me..”  
“For what?” Steve said genuinely confused.  
“Kissing you. I was selfish and...” Steve had inched closer to the brunette. This made Bucky stop mid sentence. Steve kept moving closer.  
“Steve, what are you?” Bucky felt his pulse accelerate as Steve caressed his cheek.  
“Forgive me.” Steve whispered. His heart also picking up speed. Now or never.


	25. The exchange

He owed Bucky at least one kiss.

Gently he placed his lips on Bucky's soft ones. It was a shock to both of their systems, they both felt the electricity surging from the other. The kiss was sweet but short: Steve had already allowed more than his limit. He pulled away and put his hand on Bucky's shoulder. For the first time in a while, he saw hope in Bucky's eyes. Hope that would soon turn to sadness.

“We should get going.” Steve called out to Bucky and the others who he could see spying on them from the double doors.

“We shall talk more once we get back T'challa.” Tony said with confidence that they would all make it back. Whilst the others walked toward the Quinjet Steve turned to T'challa.

“Thank you for everything. I'm sorry I didn't make very good company.”  
“Mr. Rogers... Steve. It is forgiven. You talk as if this is the last time we will ever speak.” Steve kept his calm exterior and laughed it off. However, inside he felt paralysed and hoped that T'challa wouldn't figure it out.

Steve took one last look at Wakanda and climbed into the Quinjet. He had left the letter, along with one addressed to all of them in Natasha's room. They weren't suicide notes, just a way for him to explain himself.

“Positions!” Tony shouted through the earpieces. Steve and Bucky had been sent to scout the perimeter of their temporary base. He chose this position so he could sprint to where the agents would be and hopefully Pepper too. This wouldn't be done easy, however, as Bucky seemed to be shadowing him. That made the situation more problematic. He was hoping to just slip away but now he'd have to create a red herring for Bucky. All this planning had left Steve mentally exhausted. He just needed to keep up the facade a little while longer.

“Buck.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Tony needs you.”  
“He hasn't said anything to me through the ear-piece.”  
“Yeah, he said the channel is acting up and there must be a fault with your ear-piece, he wants to fix it. He says the quicker its repaired the more time he can prep.”  
“Oh.” Bucky said with a hint of suspicion present in his voice. Steve saw this.  
“I'll be fine. I'll just wait here for you to get back.” Steve reassured him. Bucky eyed him carefully, but fell for Steve's lie. He turned and travelled west through the thick forest to get his ear-piece fixed.

Steve waited a few moments to make sure Bucky hadn't doubled back to confront him. Then, with one last sigh, he walked towards the meeting point.  
Bucky made his way through the crowds of tree's until he found Tony, Bruce and Natasha setting up their equipment. Hearing something emerge from the trees Natasha quickly brought her gun to face a worried looking Bucky.

“James? I almost shot you!” Natasha half shouted, cautious not to alarm any possible surrounding Hydra agents.  
“Tony!” Bucky said.  
“What?”  
“You could have told them I was coming.”  
“Wh-why would you come back here.”  
“Steve said you were trying to reach me but my ear-piece must be faulty and that you wanted me to come back here so you could fix it.” The four of them froze at this realisation.

“We have to find him!” Tony urged, concern present in his voice.

“Mr.Rogers, its an honour to meet you...” A tall, auburn haired man said. His green eye's seemed to look through Steve's soul.”Again.” he added and smiled. Steve knew there was something familiar about the man, but he could not put his finger on it.  
“Again?” He said puzzled.  
“Surely, you remember me? What was it that you were drawing?”  
Steve Froze. No!  
“Ahh yes, the bar.” The man presented Steve with another smile, though this time it seemed to be filled with malice. Steve's thoughts began to scream and his instincts were telling him to run, but he couldn't do it. This was something he had to face.

The look on Steve's face had assured the man that he was remembered. Before he got too carried away, a small unamused sigh came from his left side. A tall slender woman emerged, her small eyes showed she was tired of the green eyed monsters shenanigans. She sighed once more before opening the entrance to reveal Pepper and a few other prisoners. Steve saw they were unharmed and he felt a wave of relief wash over him.

“Let them go.” Steve commanded.  
“Steve?” Pepper said, dumbfounded.  
“Pepper, when they release you travel west with the others and you'll find Tony. You'll be safe.”  
“But what about you?”  
“...I'm sorry Pepper.” Steve's eye's fell to the ground as he felt handcuffs put on him.  
“Goodbye.”He whispered as Pepper ran off into the forest with the hostages.

“This should be interesting.” The woman said, her words lacking enthusiasm.

Before the crew had managed to draw up a plan for finding Steve and acting on it, they hear a rustling through the tree's.  
“Don't Shoot!” A familiar voice shouted at the edge of the treeline. Tony was in shock, he thought it must have been a dream. Surely, Pepper couldn't have been standing right in front of him.

Clint emerged from behind the group. “Yeah, I found these guys wandering around from my viewpoint.” Clint said, he noted that Steve was absent.  
“Where's Steve?”  
“We don't know.”  
“Hydra have him.”Pepper spoke.  
“How?” Natasha asked, though she could probably guess correctly on Peppers answer.  
“They let us go...in exchange. He. He went with them. They had him cuffed.”

“So Steven. How many years has it been?”  
“Too little time has passed.” Steve replied. The man placed his large hand on Steve's cheek: making Steve shrink back.  
“Am I making you uncomfortable?” He smiled.


	26. What I've done

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me for this being soo late.

During the commotion a large explosion went off close to their base. Tony knew it would be foolish to remain there for longer than they needed to be. Steve had told Pepper where to find him and he deduced that the enemy wouldn't be far behind. Quickly, he commanded Friday to scan the Hostages to make sure none of them were cloaked agents. Once he was done he rounded everyone up and led them into the Quinjet. He began to start up the engine when his shoulder was pushed. It was Bucky.

“Tony what are you doing?” He asked.  
“Uh, leaving. Steve made his choice.”  
“Tony, we can't just leave him here.” Natasha added.  
“What is your problem?” Bucky began to grow angry.  
“He just betrayed us! But I forget you could never see this because your soooo in love with him”Before things could get out of hand Pepper intervened.  
“Please stop arguing, Tony is right we need to go now its not safe here.”

Bucky went to protest when Natasha pulled him into a tight hug. They both knew Steve would never betray them. He was sacrificing himself. AGAIN.

They arrived back in Wakanda a few hours later. The atmosphere was tense thanks to Tony who seemed to be constantly glaring at Bucky. Tony landed the Quinjet and everyone rushed out, sensing an fight was imminent. They had sensed correct because as soon as Tony and Bucky stepped out they faced each other.

“Spit it out!” Bucky demanded.  
“Fine. I think you were in on it.” Tony accused. This caught Bucky off guard.  
“So you think I'd let Steve be in the hands of those lunatics?!”  
“Why else would you believe that MY tech had a fault! Its a fucking earpiece! I'm Tony Goddamn Stark I'm more than capable of building earpieces that will never have a technical fault!” Tony said, hurt due to the fact that Bucky had underestimated him.

T'challa stepped in before things got out of hand and walked between them.  
“Gentlemen. Please calm down, what is going on? Where is Steve?” He asked politely.  
“He Betrayed us! I bet he's telling them all of our secrets right this moment, hell he's probably in love with one of them by now-”  
*Slap*  
Bucky's hand print had appeared on the side of Tony's face. Tony looked befuddled. Tears had appeared in Bucky's solemn eyes.  
“Don't you fucking dare! You have no right, but I wouldn't expect you to understand Tony. You're only ever a hero for yourself and your own selfish gain.”  
“Bucky.” Natasha interrupted, concerned as she could see James shaking.  
“No. Tony I don't know what's going on in that head of yours, but have you forgotten about that last time YOU drove a wedge between you and Steve? How he was right all along but you didn't trust him. He's not betraying you. You are betraying him. At another time when he needs us-YOU the most to get him through this.”  
“He turned himself over to Hydra in exchange myself and a few others were set free.” Pepper joined in explaining the situation to T'challa. Tony gave her a look but she ignored it.  
”Please, let us go back and rescue him, they would have killed me if he didn't show up.” Pepper pleaded.  
“Please Tony, he didn't betray you...” Bucky said, trying to convince Tony to see the truth. He didn't reply. Instead he nodded at T'challa and walked into the building. The others retired to the operations room to relax. It had been a very bad day.

“So. Steven. What are the odds huh?” The green eyed monster smiled.  
“If this is Hydra's torture then Bucky was right.”  
“How so?”  
“It's horrible” Steve laughed trying to stay optimistic, however, the man that stood in front of him didn't seem amused at all.  
“I could make it worse.”  
“I highly doubt that.” Steve said, his voice wavering.  
“They always regret saying that.” He sighed.  
“Who are you?”  
“I've waited so many years for this.” He whispered as he pulled out a syringe containing a neon green fluid.  
“I thought you were going to kill me, not turn me into the 'Incredible Hulk'.” Steve remarked, he was going to die soon anyway he thought, why not have some fun in his final moments. The man ignored him and carried on talking.  
“Now, this is a sedative. Its purpose is to stop the subject from feeling any pain as they die. Give me what I need and I shall give it to you.”  
“What do you need?” Steve stalled.  
“Information. Specifically on your fellow avengers and any codes, passwords or weapons you have stored in your many facilities of which we will need those locations too.”  
“Never.” The green eyed monster threw the syringe to the ground where it shattered into a thousand sharp and tiny fragments: swallowed in the neon liquid.  
“Such a shame really, I would have liked for the experience to be a pleasurable one for you.” With that he left the room: anger still present on his face.

Despite him being glad it was over...for now, Steve found himself in shock. He noted that the shock was unbearable. It didn't come from being bound to a rather uncomfortable chair or having to face his molester again. The distress of existing or not existing without Bucky really hit him. He really did have the hero complex that Bucky used to tease him about. The only thought he found comfort in was perhaps being reunited with his parents in the 'afterlife'. 

Through a small window in the right hand corner of the room he could see that nightfall had arrived. He soon got tired and even with the serum, his body still required sleep. The hum of the machinery around him began to turn into a lullaby.

“Goodnight guys.” He mumbled as he succumbed to unconsciousness.


	27. To my friends.

“Guys!” Natasha shouted, alerting everyone as she walked into the room. Pepper noticed she was carrying two envelopes. One was black and when Natasha held it up, it bore the sigil of Hydra. The other ones were white and each one was addressed to a member of the team.  
“What are those?” Clint asked.  
“I don't know, they weren't in my room before we left. But there seems to be a letter for everyone.”  
The five of them rose out of their chairs and started to read their letters out loud. One after the other.  
Natasha read hers first.

“Dear Natasha, forgive me for ignoring you these past few weeks, but as you probably know by now I had no other choice... well I did but that would have resulted in innocent people being killed and you know I can't let that happen. To tell you the truth Nat, you're like the sister I never had and I'll always be grateful for your guidance and kindness towards me when I came out of the ice. You supported me, even when we were on opposing sides. You gave me the strength to face my fears and I'm sorry I could only give you my lousy friendship in return. Thank you.” 

The silence in the room was almost sombre as Natasha looked up from her letter with a look of sorrow in her eyes. Clint took this as his cue to start reading.

“Dear Clint, I know we never really spoke much, but I want to thank you for being there for Natasha when I couldn't. I need to ask you for another favour... please look after when I'm gone. I know you will but I just want to make sure she isn't alone in this. I also want to congratulate you on your family, you've built a wonderful life for yourself and I hope it stays that way in the future. Here's to the many jokes and witty banter over the years.”

Bruce was so deep in thought after hearing the last two letters that he barely noticed Natasha jabbing him in the side to read his letter aloud.

“Oh um okay, ahem, Dear Bruce, I owe you a lot. You helped me to bring Bucky back. Despite my lack of enthusiasm about the whole idea you still carried on and I can't thank you enough for that. Thank you also for being here for Natasha and giving the relationship a go, just because you're the Hulk, doesn't mean you're a monster or the 'bad guy'. When I think of you, I think of a really smart scientist who can and has changed lives and I also wonder 'how has this guy not gone crazy having to work with Tony Stark'. But jokes aside, its been an honour working with you.”

Steve's joke about Tony had everyone in the room smirking in spite of their situation. However, Tony didn't feel much like smiling. He wanted to get it over and done with and began to read his.

“Dear Tony. In doing this I understand that I've put you in another difficult situation. Please know that it was not my intention to defy you or lose your trust. You probably think I've betrayed you, but I swear I would never do something like that to you. You're one of my closest friends. You remind me so much of your father, I find I see a part of him in you every time you start talking about this and that or using complicated terminology that I could never understand. I appreciate your willingness to move on from the negatives of our past and for giving Bucky a chance and me an opportunity to explain my actions. I know Pepper means a lot to you, and in doing this I hope you of all people understand why I have made this sacrifice. You're a great 'Genius billionaire playboy philanthropist and I know if your parents were alive today they would be so proud. Never change.”

Tony inhaled and exhaled quickly. He turned to the others.  
“I'm sorry for the way I've been acting.”  
“It's alright Tony.” Bucky said, giving Tony's shoulder a squeeze. “I guess It's my turn.”

“Just take the stupid Serum and be done with it!” Steve had begun to grow impatient at the green eyed monsters games.  
“Ah.ah.ah.ah. No yet gorgeous. I still need that information on your 'friends'”  
“I can't tell you anything.” Steve answered.  
“You will tell us everything once I am done with you.” He smirked as he kicked Steve's shin with his steel capped boots.  
“Who even are you?”  
“You remember me yes?”  
“Yes but I never got your name.”  
“Does it matter? You're going to die anyway.” He smiled.  
“Back at that bar, why did you do it?”  
“I might as well kill some time before my lunch break.” He said. “I was working for a small agency at the time, we were called the 'Brooklyn Brigs', an initiative that never really kicked off the ground. We did a few odd jobs here and there, getting people to sign up for the military and stuff. But I soon found working for them wasn't going to pay my bills and so I left for a better pay check. Hydra gave me everything I ever wanted as a young wannabe scientist.”  
“That doesn't explain why you-”  
“Shhhh! I'm getting to that. So one of my objectives when I was working for Hydra back then was to find specimens for experiments, I just happened to come across you in that bar and you piqued my interest. You looked so fragile, so breakable that I was doubting I could even use you for the experiment so I had to try something that would get the adrenaline rushing.”  
“So you spiked my drinks?”  
“Yes, but that was only half of it. That alone wouldn't be enough so I put you in a situation where you would be most under pressure. And It worked. Though I admit I should have asked for your number before hand but that is completely off limits now.”


	28. To my beloved...

“Dearest Bucky, If my apologies would change anything I would apologise profusely in this letter but with the amount of times I've hurt you and let you down, that just isn't going to cut it any more. I wish things could have gone differently for you, and I hope you can fully recover from the horror you have had to live with.”

Bucky looked up at his friends, they all stared back with curiosity and fear.

“I love you so much it physically caused me pain to write this, to even think about doing what I'm about to do... but it has to be done. As this may be the last interaction I have with you I might as well be honest. I've waited so long to kiss you and I regret my life will end without experiencing everything with you, the intimate parts and even the domestic ones. To grow as a person with you, to grow old with you. To share laughter, tears and wake up every morning next to you. To tell you how much I love you every day so you wouldn't forget it. The acknowledgement that we beat the odds despite them being stacked against us. That is all I ever wanted...” Bucky trailed off.

Natasha could see how frail Bucky suddenly was, so frail in fact he looked like he would collapse, so she made her way past the others, putting her arm around his shoulder to both steady him physically and support him mentally.

“You can stop if you want.” She suggested.  
“No. Its alright.” Bucky replied unconvincing.

“For years I had convinced myself that you never felt the same way and that if you found out you'd hate me and leave. I know deep inside you wouldn't but still my head told me to hide it. If there are any positives of this situation, I would say it was seeing you again after thinking you were dead. Sure you were trying to kill me but I knew deep inside you never would hurt me by your own will. Getting you to snap out of the mindset those bastards put you in, seeing you sleep peacefully and smile. Literally sharing memories with you and making new ones. And after 70 years finally getting to kiss you... and it not being a dream. Now it is my time to depart. And I'm taking all the stupidity with me.”

The last remark shattered Bucky's 'I'll be fine' facade and his grief stricken interior broke through as his legs buckled from beneath him. Despite Natasha's grip they both fell to the ground. Kneeling, he began to sob wildly, each one violently jerking his body. Natasha crouched further and wrapped both arms around him this time in a fierce hug. The others looked on helplessly. 

“We will get him back.” Clint stated.

How long he had been sleeping, he didn't know. He could only register the freezing cold water clashing against his skin. The temperature of the water had created goosebumps all along his body.

“Good morning Steven Beauty! I hope you enjoyed your sleep, because from now on you won't be getting much of that.” The tall woman spoke. She seemed in her element compared to when they first met.  
“The boss has had a change of heart for now regarding the serum situation” She said as Steve's face dropped.  
“Green eye's said that?” He asked.  
“Green eyes? Oh you mean Kayson. What makes you think that?”  
“He is the boss isn't he?”  
“Oh you are entertaining indeed! No darling the boss is much more brutal than that clown.” She laughed as Green eye's Kayson walked into the room.

“You should be smiling Steve, the boss has allowed you to live and he has even gave you a better purpose.” He smiled a toothy grin.

–

“Clint you're not helping” Bruce spoke out trying to add some calmness to the situation.  
“I'm trying to be supportive Bruce, I don't see you coming up with any bright ideas!”  
“Clint, Bruce please stop!” Natasha shouted, clearly agitated at what was going on.

Meanwhile, the cogs of Tony's brain began to turn and a small but valuable piece of information floated to his consciousness from his unconsciousness. It was a eureka moment and it took a moment for him to register it. Of all the options they had, it wasn't a great one, but it was a lead none the less. He smiled, catching everyone else's attention, even the crying Bucky who's face turned to anger at Tony's grin.

“Guys! I have an idea.” Tony spoke out before everyone got the wrong impression.  
“What is it?” Bucky perked up, getting to his feet with the help of Natasha and Clint, whilst Bruce walked over to Tony.  
“Follow me, I'll explain when we get there.”

The others followed en route, each of them trying to asses the situation and trying to guess what Tony was thinking about. 

Bucky hoped he wasn't leading them on a wild goose chase, at that moment he was close to breaking down and he needed a break. 'HA! A break' he thought. Despite the letter, Bucky still loved Steve. Sure he was furious at him, livid even. He wanted to hate Steve so badly, but he couldn't. He knew if Steve had, had a choice he wouldn't have done what he did. He saved a few hostage's lives and Pepper's. He was proud of him. However, at the same time, he just wanted his normal Steve back. Not the Captain America that was thrust upon the blonde. Tony stopping at the main lab brought him out of his thought.

“In here.” He said, his tone not alluding to his emotions.

The small group followed him, he directed them to gather around a large computer. His face let slip and he began looking anxious. He cleared his throat as the others surrounded him and the computer.

“Don't hate me, but when Capsicle and I first met... I may have secretly injected a small chip into his shoulder.”  
“You did WHAT?!” Natasha said, she seemed to be the only one surprised by this.  
“Come on Natasha, this is TONY.” Bruce remarked.  
“Hell he probably has chips in all of us by now.” Clint added, smirking.  
“And how will that help us.” Bucky spoke, his voice small.  
“Well, it can measure his heart rate and vitals.”  
“Great so we will only know when he is dying. That's brilliant Tony, thanks for wasting our time.” Bruce interrupted.  
“Tony?” Bucky said, looking helplessly at Tony.  
“....but, it may be possible for me to download some add-ons to the chip wirelessly and maybe get a location on him.”  
“What do you need?” Natasha asked.  
“The cooperation of every space station surrounding Earth.”  
“Why?”  
“I need a large surface area of data to cross reference and I need to try to get a digital map drawn up of where the chip could possibly be. The more search software I can get my hands on, the bigger the chance of finding him before...” Tony stopped. The room went silent again.

“Before they kill him.” Bucky finished


	29. So it begins.

“Tony!” Natasha shouted.  
“Yes?”  
“We can't get everyone in the sky to help, but, T'challa has agreed to let us borrow his newest satellite, and he says he's had his engineers modify it so we can use it to scan for Steve. He just needs you to confirm a few details.” She said as she put the phone down. Her face showed hope.  
“Oh, okay well tell him I'll be there once I've finished this.” Tony said pointing to Bucky.

Bucky sat on the table listening to what they were saying, the temporary arm had been taken off by Tony to asses the damage. Tony had decided to create a new modified arm for Bucky and he had been waiting for the parts to print and for Tony to assemble and fit it. It was completed now, in a metal case that Bucky couldn't see through. He hadn't yet seen the arm and he worried that it would not work as efficiently as the other one had, as much as he hated it. Tony gave him a nod and brought   
the case over to him.

“Are you ready?”  
“Yes.”

Tony unclipped the lid and removed it from the top of the case. Bucky was in shock. He trusted Tony but he didn't expect the arm to look so real and so much like the one he had lost. He genuinely smiled at Tony, now excited to try it out and forget about the situation for a few moments. Tony explained that the arm wasn't just any old prosthetic, it was a trial he was testing, the arm physically attached itself to the persons remaining limb and would fuse with the nerves, bone and tissue to form a fully functional new arm that wouldn't have to be removed or require straps. As it was untested, Tony was anxious to see if his idea would work.

“Here.” He said as he brought the arm up to Bucky's shoulder.  
“What will it do?” Bucky asked.  
“It should fuse, but I can't say for certain if it will be successful.”  
“Oh.”  
“But don't worry, if it fails we can always try again, just hold still whilst I place it.”  
“Got it.”

With a small push of the upper arm to Bucky's shoulder, the arm latched on and began to connect to Bucky's shoulder tissue, then the joint and then the blood vessels and nerves. It wasn't completely painless but it wasn't anything Bucky couldn't handle. 

“How do you feel?”  
“Sore, not crippling sore but an aching sore.”  
“Hmm, what would you rate your pain from one to ten?”  
“About a four-five maybe.”  
“Interesting.”

The process didn't take long and soon Bucky began to feel from this other arm. He could feel the blood rushing through the fake veins and he could feel Tony's hand on his bicep.

“Right now raise your hand.” Tony instructed.  
“Okay.” Bucky said as he struggled to raise his hand at first.  
“Hmm okay give it a few more seconds to let the blood circulation go full circle.”  
“Okay, I think I can do it now.” He said as he raised his hand to above his head.  
“Brilliant.” Tony said, a smile on his face also.  
“It's so... so real.” Bucky half stated half asked.  
“Yeah, I designed it like that. I know you wouldn't mind any old prosthetic, but I figured, you've had to go though so much with that terrible piece of metal for an arm, I had to create something to make it easier for you.”  
“Thank you Tony.” Bucky spoke.  
“Its no problem reall-” He was caught off guard when Bucky wrapped both of his arms around Tony and gave him a hug. Tony though to himself 'I could get used to this hugging business'.  
“Listen, I don't want to ruin the moment, but I promise you I will do everything I can to get our Capsicle back from those lunatics.”   
“I know.”

Meanwhile, Steve had been moved to a different facility, unfortunately for him the tall woman and Kayson had came also. They had tried a few things to get him to give secret details but he hadn't given them anything. Yet. He hated to be in that mindset and the more he was left alone, the more he thought about what they may do to his friends to get him to talk. He had so much to lose, as for himself he didn't care but for others he did. He missed them all a lot, and he hoped they had moved on and didn't linger on what he had done. A group of what looked like scientists barged through the double doors and began setting something up, interrupting Steve from his thoughts. 

Suddenly, he was released from his bondage and thrown into a metal chair, where his arms were clipped to the arm rests and his lower legs connected to the legs of the chair. A man came in and sat in front of Steve. He was balding and wore a pair of thick lensed glasses, his teeth were sharp and his face slightly aged. One of his assistances placed a mouth guard into Steve's mouth, protecting his teeth. The man pressed record on a taping device and began speaking.

“ Subject is Steven Grant Rogers also know as Captain America. Born in Brooklyn, New York on July 4th, 1918 to Sarah and Joseph Rogers. Both parents are deceased. The Father died in World War One and the mother died of Tuberculosis. The subject has no next of kin. This is shock session number one. The time is five o'four am on Tuesday the twenty third of January, two thousand and seventeen. We will begin now.”

Steve tried to speak but the mouth guard was stopping him from doing so. Shock session? Steve was sure he had heard of that before somewhere, his thoughts were racing. Whatever this session was, he knew it wasn't going to be pleasant.

“Steven. We no longer want any information from you.” The man said.  
“...” Steve raised an eyebrow, if they didn't want information, then what did they have him bound to a chair for?  
“We want you.” The man smiled. Steve was confused, they already had him.  
“As in, we want you to be ours, our own one hundred percent genuine super soldier.”

So Steve wasn't going to die immediately, he wished he could see that as a positive. But as things were, he would rather die than become a weapon for those madmen. He had largely misjudged but as things were he couldn't do anything about it now.


	30. Alone all along.

Steve boldly shook his head from left to right. NEVER.

The man looked at him disappointed. Then he signalled for another assistant to turn a small knob on a large control panel. As he turned it, Steve could feel the volts race through his body, at first it was bearable, but then as the man turned it around further it began to burn. Steve tensed up in pain. Even the Serum couldn't handle that much electricity. He could feel the edge of his pain threshold approaching. His brain frying. His eyes closing and his thoughts growing dark. He began to cry. The man in charge only laughed. He was enjoying himself.

“Weak.” He commented before he brought out a television on wheels. He put a tape into it and the screen lit up. He could see Bucky, in the same chair as him, also being shocked and in pain. The man turned the volume up and Steve began to hear what was going on.

**“But I knew him.” Bucky said confused.**

**“Prep him.” Another man said.**  
**“But he's been out of cryo for too long.”  
**“Then wipe him.” The same man said.****

********** **

Steve watched as Bucky's face turned to an expression that broke Steve's heart. He could tell at that point that Bucky had tried to fight them but had failed. Steve was angry. He was furious. It was another reminder of how he had failed to protect his best friend from harm. How would he protect Bucky now that he was here? God he was such a failure to himself and everyone else.

“You do as we say, you let us in and we will take care of you Steve.”

He shook his head once more.

“Steven, if you do this you'll just cause more pain for yourself.” But still he ordered for his assistant to turn up the volts again.

Again the volts coursed through him and became more painful and present than last time. His heart and mind were racing. He was hurting. But they would have to do better than that.

“Guys!” Tony alarmed everyone.  
“What is it?” Clint questioned.  
“Its Steve, he, his heart rate has risen dramatically over a short period of time and his body seems to be convulsing, either he is having a fit or..”  
“He is being electrocuted.” Natasha said, all to familiar with the effects of torture on physical health.  
“Is there anything we can do?” Bruce inquired.  
“Nothing, not until we get that satellite out there.” T'challa added.  
“He'll just have to fight it for now.” Bucky said, aware of what it was like for him. He knew Steve was strong, he just hoped he was strong enough to resist until they rescued him.  
“Why would they torture him? I thought they just wanted the serum?”  
“I'm not sure, but Hydra need to die already.”

 

It had been a few weeks and after many tiring sessions and almost no sleep for Steve, it was getting harder.

Volt after volt passed through the super soldier, but still, he was proving to be more resilient than they expected. They decided to increase the pressure a little bit. The man brought out an envelope and took some pictures out of it. He placed them onto a projector that shined against the white wall. The first one showed Tony and Bucky smiling at each other, the second showed Tong giving Bucky a new arm. The man withheld the last picture and smiled at it. This piqued Steve's interest. The man caught onto Steve's curiosity. He knew what he was about to show the blonde would unravel him and break his soul.

“He moved on quick didn't he.” The man commented before putting the image on the projector.

It showed Tony and Bucky embracing in a hug. That was it? Steve thought.

“Its sad really, but you did abandon them all. I don't think they ever want to see you again.” He said as he pulled out another recording device but pressed play instead.

 **“Thank you Tony.” Bucky said.**  
**“Its no problem.” Tony assured.**  
**“I love you.” Bucky said.  
**“I love you too.” Tony repeated.****

********** **

 

The tape went silent for a few seconds before another voice clip came on.

 

 **“How could he do this to us?” Natasha fumed.**  
**“He should just die already.” Clint said.**  
**“Yeah, no one liked him anyway. We only used him for his strength, I mean what a pathetic guy, Bucky deserves way better.”  
**“Steve ruined his life.”****

********** **

 

Steve felt sick, and he began retching. The assistant pulled out the mouth guard and he threw up. His head as spinning and his heart was sinking. The tape continued and played another clip.

 

**“To think I actually liked him. He ruined everything good I had going for me. I could have been happy. Thanks to him I'm stuck here.” Bucky said angrily.**  
**“Now do you understand what I was saying?” Natasha added.  
**“Yeah, I wish he had died after that brain connect. But no he ended up living like how pathetic can you get?”****

********** **

 

********** **

Steve was shattered. He had endured too much for too long. He just needed a little rest, he couldn't hold his inner demons in any more. His mind was now filled with images of Bucky and Tony. 

********** **

“He stole him from me.” Steve mumbled.  
“Yes he did.” The man said sympathetically. Steve began to lose hold of his thoughts as his anger and hatred flooded though and poisoned them all.  
“HE STOLE HIM FROM ME!!” Steve screamed.  
“Yes.”  
“THEY LIED TO ME!!” He shrieked again.  
“We won't lie to you Steven, we've got your back. We are here only for you.” He smiled, showing less of his teeth and making himself look more relatable.  
“It hurts.”  
“Would you like us to end that pain.”  
“....Yes.”

********** **


	31. Pending Execution

He didn't know how long he had been enveloped in the darkness, but he wasn't complaining. He should have been. He should have declined Hydra's offer to turn him into the ultimate killing machine. He should have done a lot of things differently in his life. One positive was that silence gave him time to think after being starved of sleep and constantly mentally stimulated with loud noises, vivid images and complicated ideas. He had royally messed up now and as much as he wanted to change that, he was struggling to gather the motivation to do so. If he was being honest with himself, he had been feeling this way long before Hydra got to him. The constant feelings of hopelessness and despair, evaluating why he was even alive and second guessing himself at every decision he made. He had always just wanted to help people and now he would take everything away from the people he fought so hard for and nearly died to protect. He needed to find a way around this predicament, he had spent so long fighting for others and he had forgotten how to fight for himself. He had no control any more when he let his darkness take over, he needed a saviour.

“Don't get too comfortable there Steve.” Kayson smirked.  
“Kayson! Leave this instant, that is no way to treat our guest.”  
“Mr Rogers can you hear us?”

He opened his eyes to a strange sight. The people in the room looked at him now as if he were a precious jewel, hypnotising them. Deep inside he was screaming, pleading to be back in control, however, his other half was not listening. He was Stoic.

“Reporting for service.” Steve Saluted.  
“Are you ready for your first target?” The man said.  
“Yes sir.” Steve replied.

The man handed him a file to read through. He opened the file to be greeted by a detailed document containing all the information a contract killer would ever want. The file contained the name Clint Barton. His picture was also attached with a red stamp over the top of it saying 'PENDING EXECUTION' in large red letters. Steve was shocked, he was going to kill Clint. He only prayed that when they came to fight, his family wasn't anywhere nearby.

“Do you comply?” The old man asked, his face now void of that haunting smile. He held his breath waiting for Steve's answer.  
“I comply.”

~~

 

“I love you too honey, yeah I'll be back soon. We are so close to ending this disaster, I just hope we aren't too late. Uhuh. I will, I always do don't I? Okay, send my love to the kids and tell your parents I said hi. Okay bye, love you.” Clint finished the phone call to his wife. 

He missed his family, but he knew in fighting the bad guys he was helping make the world a better place and in turn ensuring the safety of his children and wife. He wasn't mad at Steve, in fact he admired his bravery and loyalty. He just wished he had seen the signs, but to be fair, they all were and still are dealing with all of their problems, Clint knew Steve was no exception. He had read T'challa's observations and concluded that Steve was barely getting by. He seemed to be stuck in some kind of cycle of doubt, sadness and lack of self preservation. He took comfort in knowing that Steve had not left without saying goodbye. The letter was good enough for him, and hearing everyone else's further cemented Steve's commitment to the team he had only known for a few years. Steve had never given up on any of them, even when they were on the wrong side of what others considered right. They owed him everything. Clint sure as hell wasn't going to give up without a fight. 

He sat there pondering the situation, when he felt someone grab his shoulders. He turned to see Natasha smiling at him. He had a feeling he would never get used to her sneaking up on him. He smiled back and for a brief moment they communicated with their facial expressions alone.

“How is everyone?” She asked.  
“Yeah, they are fine. Laura's parents are staying with them for a while so Lila, Cooper and Nathaniel will no doubt be spoiled rotten while they're in town.”  
“Ah, that's great. I take it you will be back with them once this is over?”  
“Probably, why?”  
“I don't know, I suppose I've gotten used to you being part of the team again.”  
“Well. Hey, you and Bruce are always welcome to stay. The kids love you and Laura would love to have another woman about the house to talk to besides boring old me.” Clint smiled.  
“Thanks C.” Natasha hugged him.  
“Your welcome.” Clint hugged back, he was truly grateful to have a friend like Natasha 

“What about you and Bruce?” Clint asked.  
“I don't know. Now that he isn't wanted by the entire planet, I suppose we never planned that far ahead. We might take a long break for a while until the world needs us to save it once more.”  
“Yeah, I think I might end up retiring and then un-retiring again in the near future. I don't know what it is about this job but being in danger always brings out the amazing Hawkeye in me.”  
“I think we will take you up on your offer sometime, if it really isn't too much bother.” Natasha contemplated.  
“Bother? Are you kidding? The fresh air will do you two some good, plus free labour on the homestead am I right? Or am I right?” This made Natasha laugh again.  
“I miss Steve.”  
“Me too Nat.”  
“I hate feeling so useless C.”  
“I know, but Steve wouldn't want you feeling that way. He would want you to hold your chin high and keep kicking ass.”  
“Yeah, and he'd want you to keep failing to beat his high score on the arcade machine.”  
“Dammit, I'd almost forgot. Guess who isn't getting any sleep tonight.”


	32. Crimson Pain

Clint had just waved goodbye to Natasha. Bruce had a surprise for her and with the satellite still scanning for Steve four months on, they had the time. Clint, Natasha, Bruce, Vision and Wanda were all in New York for the week. Mostly for press conferences now that the news about Steve somehow 'got out'. They were staying at Stark Tower, they also had Charles and Erik staying with them, but they were more focused on playing chess. Clint noted that the two young men hadn't aged a day. At first he thought it was a soldier serum experiment gone right, however, when he asked of the real cause they remained tight lipped. Erik mumbled something about multiverses, time travel and bargains. Clint thought that Erik was lucky in the fact that Charles had stuck by his side even when he hadn't been particularly easy to deal with. They were soulmates, that much he could tell. He may just be 'that guy with the arrows', but he wasn't an idiot. 

“Clint.” This snapped him out of his deep thought. He emerged from the haze to find Vision displaying a look of concern.  
“Yes?”  
“Your telephone device has been ringing for nine minutes. I took the liberty of picking it up and asking them to call back later.” Vision paused. “Didn't you hear it?”  
“Oops, my hearing aids must be a bit faulty today, or you know, its just old age.” Clint joked.  
“Or perhaps you were too busy thinking to hear it.”  
“Well you got me.” Clint said smiling.  
“I hope you don't mind, but in your daze I was assessing your current mental state.”  
“Go on..”  
“And I found that you seem to be dealing with symptoms of PTSD, that's Post-”  
“I know what PTSD is Vee. How did you come to that conclusion?”  
Vision looked away, this confirmed Clints suspicions. There was only one way Vision could possibly know this.  
“Xavier!” Clint shouted.  
“You called?” The man walked into the room, as if reading Clints mind.  
“Now look, I have no problem with you having a little browse around in my head, but I'd appreciate if you didn't journey too far, at least not without my permission.”  
Now it was Charles turn to look guilty.  
“I-” He began to explain himself when Clint spoke.  
“If you've looked deep enough, then I'm sure you know why I'm not exactly comfortable with it.”  
“Forgive us Clint, but you can't keep trying to suppress this. In fact-” Vision was interrupted by a dark figure emerging from the balcony above them. The figure threw something at Vision, causing him to collapse. 

The figure jumped behind Clint and held a knife to his throat, in the light they could see the assailants face.  
“Steven!” Charles exclaimed. One wrong move and Steve would kill Clint. Steve just stared, unresponsive to Charles calling his name. He was blank. His face contained no look of sorrow, only a slight hint of rage hidden within. Erik rushed in at Charles' shouting, witnessing the display before him, he began trying the force the knife from Steve's hand, only for Charles to stop him.  
'Erik, please.' Charles said to Erik's mind.  
'But-' Erik began to protest.  
'For once do as I say!' He shouted.

The pair had read up on and met Steve a few times, however, due to their lack of familiarity with the super soldier, they didn't fully know what he was capable of. Tony had briefly mentioned that they suspected he was being tortured and the scene before them only solidified that theory. Hydra had broken Captain America. No, they had broken Steve.

Charles attempted to enter Steve's mind, but was astonished to discover that he was unable to do so. He had never encountered this before, with the exception of those who wore that blasted helmet and Frost. Did Hydra have something to do with this?

“Hey Steve.” Clint choked out. Breaking the silence.  
“....” Steve didn't reply.  
“Listen buddy, I don't know what they did to you but-” A sharp pain ripped through his neck. Steve had slit Clints throat. He wasn't phased by the looks of horror he received from Vision, Charles and Erik. At the same time the elevator doors opened and Natasha and Bruce's 'happy' night out had come to a halt. Natasha saw everything first. Clint stood there, helpless as Steve slid the knife across his jugular. Bruce noted Natasha's expression before looking where her eyes lead. Blood was spurting down Clints neck. In any other situation, Bruce would have transformed there and then, but he found himself to stunned to even move. A few seconds passed before Steve turned and jumped out of the window. Clint collapsed and everyone came rushing to his aid.

“Natasha!!” Bruce shouted. There was no response.  
“Natasha!!” Bruce shook her this time.  
“Hm?” was all she could say, as she continued staring at Clint bleeding to death.  
“Call Tony now!” Bruce shouted again.

This snapped the Black Widow out of her 'moment' and she rushed through her purse for her phone.  
“Hello?” Tony answered.  
“Tony!” Natasha shouted. Sensing the urgency in her voice, Tony grabbed Bucky and put the call on loud speaker.  
“What's wrong?”  
“Its Steve. He-h” She was close to breaking down.  
“What about Steve?” Bucky asked.  
“He has. He.. he was here. He slit clints throat.”  
“How is he?”  
“Who Steve?”  
“No, Clint!”  
“Oh” Natasha looked over, Bruce gave her a very bloody thumbs up. He was alive for now. “The guys are working on it, they've stopped the bleeding, but he's lost a lot of blood.”

Two sighs of relief came from the other end.  
“That wasn't the scariest part though.”  
“What do you mean?” Bucky questioned.  
“His face. The blank stare. But there was something else in his eyes. His eyes, they held so much rage.” She whispered.  
“Did you apprehend him?”  
“He's gone. He jumped out the window before we could react, and he must have done something to Vision to render his powers useless for a short amount of time, or else he most likely wouldn't have escaped.”


	33. Faces and Places

Steve had watched helplessly as he dragged the blade across Clints neck. He was relieved when Natasha and Bruce had interrupted his attack. No panic filled his mind. His other side wasn't stupid however, and decided to flee before Bruce became the Hulk.

Hours later, Steve sat on a ledge overlooking the Manhattan skyline. He'd always wondered what it looked like from above as a child. In comparison to how it looked now, his child self would be very disappointed seeing it the way it was back then. He hoped Clint had survived. At that moment he wished he had the control to make himself plummet to his death. He knew the torture he'd receive when he got back, If Clint had survived that was. At this point he would gladly take the punishment with the reassurance that he hadn't yet become a murderer.

He was tired and cold, crouching on the ledge in the rain wasn't helping either. He began to move when he saw a web coming straight for him. No! Steve begged himself. Not Peter! The kid realised that it was Steve and to Steve's relief he began to retreat. It was too late. Steve had began the chase.

Peter was out on his nightly patrol. It was wet and quite crisp, but the suit kept him dry. He had expected to see a few small crimes here and there, but he hadn't counted on coming across Steve only hours after attacking Clint. Luck wouldn't be on his side today, he thought. He began to retreat and called Tony whilst doing so. He would need some serious back up.

“Tony”  
“What's up Peter?” Tony picked up, sounding exhausted.  
“I found Steve” Peter could hear the quick intake of multiple breaths on the other end.  
“What's your position?”  
“I was just scanning the skyline, am I on loudspeaker?” Peter quickly looked behind him. Steve was chasing after him, using some kind of grappling device. His webs wouldn't help him now.  
“He's coming after me!” Peter panicked.  
“Do not engage, I repeat do not engage. I'm tracking you, I'll be there soon. Just-just keep him off your tail. Can you do that?”  
“I'll try my best Tony.”

With all of his strength he sprung forward in an attempt to create more distance between the them. He found the method worked for a short time before Steve began to close the gap again. Peter wasn't sure how many minutes had gone by since the chase had begun, but he could already feel the strain. He was out of practice and only intended his night patrols to help him go over the ropes. Exam season had halted his crime fighting routine which was non existent for almost three months.

He didn't want Steve to hurt or even kill him. He liked less the idea of having to hurt Steve. But in the current situation he couldn't afford to have that mindset. It wasn't 'their' Steve trying to kill him. This was an entirely different person. Someone who would not hesitate to slit Clints throat. Steve was a loyal, funny and loveable guy. This alternative version cold, dangerous and terrifying. Peter wondered, and then came about a thought.

“Tony!” He yelled through his earpiece again.  
“I'm almost there, what's wrong?”  
“I have an idea!” Peter received a punch to the left side of his neck, sending him plummeting to the ground. Paralysed, he looked up and saw Steve gliding towards him. The look in Steve's eyes sent a shiver down Peters spine. Peter began to close his eyes in preparation for the inevitable impact but something red smashed into Steve who glided off course and into a window on one of the nearby buildings.

Steve may have been gone for now but Peter was still paralysed and plummeting. Aware if this fact the red man grabbed onto Peter and guided them into a nearby penthouse pool.

The impact had hurt. Peter knew though that it wasn't sore enough to have caused any major damage. He could feel the water around him engulf his body as he began to sink, still unable to move. A hand grabbed him by the waist and pulled him up and out of the pool. He could finally see his rescuer clearly.

“Is he okay?”  
“Shhh I think he can hear us!”  
“Guys please shut the fuck up” The man spoke in different tones. Voices that Peter had heard before from a certain individual. Peter said it before he thought it.  
“Wade?” He questioned.  
The man froze, his white eyes on Peter.  
“Who's wade?” the man asked, pulled the device that paralysed peter from Peters neck.  
Peter got up and before the other man could react he pulled the mans mask off.

Wades face showed disbelief. Then he smiled with a mischievous grin and pulled off Peters mask.  
“Pete?” He said wide eyed.  
“Uh.. hey...” Peter replied.  
“Well this is certainly an interesting series of events.”  
“Who are you?”  
“Cant you tell by my face?” Wade replied with sarcasm.  
“I know who you are but who are you when you put that suit on?”  
“Oh. Uh only the coolest superzero ever. I'm Deadpool.”  
“Deadpool?”  
“Yeah, you must be the one, the only AMAZING SPIDERMAN!” Wade said in his best announcer voice.

“Peter?” Peter turned around to see Tony, Bucky, and Vision staring at him and Wade.  
“I can explain.” Wade stepped forwards.


	34. Possibilities

“I feel exposed” Wade remarked. This earned him a puzzled look from Tony who was curious to know what had happened. He couldn't deny that the kid intrigued him, and he could not help but wonder how Peter had managed to make friends with a guy who talked to himself. Then again, this was Peter he was talking about here.  
“What exactly happened here?” Tony asked.  
“I was doing my nightly sweep and all of a sudden I came across Steve. I fled and he started to chase me, and I was doing great until he hit me with this” Peter handed over the small device to Tony, glad to have it further away in proximity “It paralysed me and I began falling. Steve was going to kill me I could see it in his eyes...Wade basically saved my life.” Peter finished.  
“Yeah I did...does this mean I can finally join the avengers?!”  
“Not in a million years.” Natasha came into view, holding a thick police file with the name 'Wade Winston Wilson' on the front.  
“Well gorgeous, you're in luck, because I'll probably still be here in a million years to get my Hogwarts letter eventually.” Wade smiled at her.  
“Ugh” She replied.  
“Your friends are quite rude” Wade whispered in Peters ear, although he whispered loud enough for everyone to hear”  
“Be nice to them please?” Peter pleaded with Wade.  
“All work and no play makes Wade a dull boy” Wade smiled again at Peter. “I knew there was something different about you Pete.”  
“Pete? You guys are on a pet name basis already?” Tony teased, making Peter blush slightly.  
“Soooo how come Captain America has went all Captain Hydra on y'all?” 

Tony took a few moments to respond. The kid was roughly about Peters age and he was grateful to Wade for saving Peters life. The kid seemed smart enough to keep his mouth shut about Steve, but just to make sure Tony decided there and then to bring Wade along with them, for the sake of keeping things secret. But also for the sake of Peter. Sure he had friends like Gwen and Mary Jane but they didn't have superpowers. Maybe they could learn from each other. Maybe having Wade there would distract peter from joining the fight against Hydra. Tony knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself if the kid didn't survive the war that was coming. He had enough lives on his conscience without having to add another to the slowly tilting scale.

“Give me that.” Tony asked Natasha and she handed over the police files. They were now all back at Stark Tower. Clint was in the medical room recovering, he may not have been the strongest physically but Tony couldn't deny, Clint was one hell of a fighter. Tony had postponed letting Barton's family know until he fully recovered. He knew that Clint wouldn't want to worry them if he would be okay in the end.

“Says here you're quite the criminal with a notorious rep huh?” He looked at Wade sat on a chair on the other side of his desk. Peter was stood by the window; Wade insisted Peter should be let in for moral support.  
“Yeah. I know what you're thinking.”  
“And what is that?”  
“Listen here Hannibal, you're thinking wow this guy is such a mental case, when can I lock him away in an asylum, and to add the cherry on top hes a wayward orphan who robs, steals and lies to people because that's all he's ever known. So why don't we just administer the lethal injection already? Clearly his case is hopeless.” Tony was taken aback. Sure he was wary of the voices Wade had, and he was slightly alarmed by the criminal background, but he'd never lock Wade away.  
“Wade, I'm no psychiatrist. I'm no cop. Maybe you are a little unstable and don't have many good habits. But I know deep down inside you have a good heart. If you didn't you would have let my so-Peter fall to his death. You're abilities grant you so much potential. You're wasted as a gun for hire. Its not to late to change if you'll let us help you out.”  
“What are you going to do? Send me to Xavier to have my brain inspected?”  
“No Wade. I want you to stay here. We need more heroes like you, more than ever.”  
“I'm not a hero, I can't do that. I'm a lone wolf Tony.”  
“That's fine.” Tony replied.  
“However, I'd appreciate some help to get me out of my 'mess'” Wade looked over to Peter. “I won't spill about the cap. That secret is safe with me. I promise.” Wade swore.  
“Thank you again Wade.”  
“Its no problem, Mr. Stark” He smiled and began to leave.  
“You're always welcome here, remember that.” Peter added in before Wade walked out of earshot.  
“I know” Wade shouted back.

Bucky was in the main tracking room, a cup of coffee in one hand and a whiteboard marker in the other. He was circling on a large map where there had been sightings of Steve. He had hoped for a sign or a signal, but nothing correlated. Nothing matched up between one sighting or the next and Bucky was beginning to feel frustrated. He had had everything he had ever wanted in his grasp and to have it all ripped away from him had hurt deeply. It damaged him even more to know that he would either have to kill Steve or be killed by Steve in the end. He knew how vigorous and deep the torture sessions went, and sometimes in his dreams, memories of them would still resurface. He was grateful when he could wake up from them and find himself safe, but then full of Sorrow when he wouldn't be able to find Steven.

“Perhaps you should take a day off” Charles Xavier walked into the room.  
“A day off? What do you think this is, a routine petty case?! This is Steven Rogers we are talking about. I can't take a day off! I can't give up on him, I refuse to.”  
“I didn't mea-”  
“I know fully what you meant. You don't get it do you?”  
“Perhaps not, please explain so I can.” Charles replied calmly.  
“He never gave up on me. Yeah sure I took care of him a lot growing up, but he did so much for me too. He gave me his home, his friendship and his empathy. He shared his family with me. Sarah was like a mother to me, showering me with love and praise. He shared his mind and heart with me. He shared his fears and his laughter. He shared his world with me. He never stopped looking for me when I was on the run. He never gave up on me even as I tried to kill him. Not once did he desert me, and he died once already to save my mind. He deserves the world, and yet here we are now. I know the pain, I know the torture. I know that over seventy years have past and those bastards will have perfected their methods. I know they will have turned him into an even more dangerous predator than I ever was. And I'm certain that if we meet again, even as he goes in for the kill, that I will not fight back. I will not give up on that hope he held for me for so many years. I would rather be killed by him than to give up on him.”  
“Forgive me, I did not realise how important this is to you.”  
“I'm sorry for snapping. I'm just so tired and anxious.”  
“Please get some sleep at rest. I'm sure Steven would want you on high alert when doing this” Charles gestured to the map on the cluttered wall.  
“I will. Thanks.”

“Poor man.” Erik walked in as Bucky left.  
“He does not need our pity.”  
“What does he need exactly?” Erik's eyebrow perked up.  
“Our help.”


	35. Have faith

The last shadow of night was beginning to disappear under the horizon, and the light of the day had cast itself over the sky. Tony was sat in his state of the art office chair, looking out of his large office window. A frown etched onto his face. Conflict within his eyes. He was at war with himself again, he was still in disbelief of the current climate that himself and his team were in. It was an unfair predicament in his mind. Would this suffering ever stop? He yawned quietly, as if to attempt to not stir his darker thoughts from their shallow slumber. He took another sip of his whisky. Another habit he had slipped into was drinking at all hours of the day, despite it never being enough to get him drunk, he theorised he had taken it up to comfort himself, the way a dog would continue to chew on its oldest toy despite its owner's reluctance to keep it. He sighed aloud, and noticed a figure In the reflection of the glass. He rose instantly.

“T'challa!” he moved towards the man and shook his hand, his nervous grip signalling the other man to reveal the news he had brought. He wouldn't have come here otherwise. He had a country to run.  
“Tony, please sit down. We have much to discuss.”

T'challa had left a while later. He did his best to relay the information his team had collected to Tony, in a serious but sympathetic manner. Tony was once again sat at his desk, this time with a glass of straight vodka in his hand. His sips more frequent. His hands trembling. He was so occupied he didn't register Peppers concerned but understanding look. She slowly approached her lover with apprehension. T'challa had visited and by the state Tony was in, this was not good news.

“Tony.”  
“.....”  
“Tony, darling. Please talk to me.” She knelt so she was eye level with him, taking the glass out of his light grip. Tony licked his dried lips and swallowed.  
“C-could you get Bucky for me please. My love.” He gave her a small unconvincing smile.  
“Of course. I'll be right back.” She gave him a small reassuring kiss on his forehead before heading out of the room and into the corridor. She first walked into the library, to find Peter and Wade studying.

“Have any of you seen Bucky?” She enquired. Their heads turned to her in unison.  
“Nope” Peter replied.  
“I have, he went towards the board room with Xavier.” Wade replied, curiosity in his words.  
“Are you alright?” Peter asked.  
“I'm fine, thank you.” She replied smiling heartedly at the pair. She was better at acting than Tony was.

She walked down a few more corridors, and one set of stairs until she reached the board room. She found, Bucky, Charles and Erik inside. She was reluctant to enter, fearing the worst of news would break Buckys resolve. But alas, she knocked twice and entered. The three men looked at her with inquisitiveness. 

“Bucky, Tony needs to see you. Its urgent.”  
“What's wrong?” Bucky asked.   
“T'challa has visited with some news.” Charles interrupted, reading Peppers surface thoughts.   
“We had better not keep him waiting then.” Bucky commented as he followed Pepper back to Tony's office.

The walk back was silent and the atmosphere was overwhelmed with negative thoughts and scenarios being thought of by both individuals. Tony could hear their footsteps growing closer and prepared himself for the inevitable. He sighed one last time before walking out onto the balcony that overlooked the main operation room. He had sent Xavier a mental message, to inform everyone to meet here at once. It wasn't long until everyone had gathered. Tony made his way down the short glass staircase. He cleared his throat and began to speak.

“Thank you all for coming. As most of you know, T'challa made a quick visit today. He um...” Tony trailed off. Pepper took his hand and gave it a light squeeze in encouragement.  
“They have located Steven.” He saw the faces of those around him, how quickly their cautious expressions turned into ones filled with sorrow and pain.  
“Its a fortress. They've located some of the personnel, some of them are highly dangerous.”  
“What are we going to do Tony.” Natasha asked.  
“It's not my call.” He said gesturing to Bucky.

His heart was racing. He was in so much pain. 

“Get everything ready.” Bucky ordered.  
“You heard the man.” Clint said to their preparation staff. He walked over to Bucky.

“For STEVE!” He shouted, and was soon followed by echoed shouts from the rest of the team.

Charles looked on. His eyes catching Buckys. He read that Bucky wanted a quiet word with him and he walked into the next unoccupied room.

“What happened between you and Erik?” That was a question that Charles was not expecting, but he answered none the less.  
“We met through difficult circumstances. I taught him how to control his mutant abilities. We set up a team...but that soon got ripped apart. In the end we wanted different things and that brought us to drastic consequences-”  
“Your paralysis?”  
“Yes, he deflected a bullet and it ended up in my spine.”  
“Was he sad about it?”  
“Yes. I may have been paralysed but my mind reading hadn't been effected. That's when all of his thoughts about me surfaced and I couldn't help but look.”  
“He loved-loves you?”  
“Yes, and I knew way before that, that I loved him too.” Charles saw Bucky deep in thought. “Sure we fought. We hurt each other, I'd been left a cripple. Then he came back for me. We were very old by then. We had settled our differences and realised all of our mistakes. Oh how much precious time we had wasted. We were at the brink of death when we were transported to the future. Young again. Healthy again. My legs worked again. This time we made It right. Not because we had to, but because our love for each other brought us to want to.” Charles was interested in why Bucky had asked such a question.  
“I-I just. They've changed him. Theoretically, if we did manage to go in, grab Steve without being killed and get back all in one piece- what if we can't fix him. I'm ready to give him my heart on a silver platter, what if he never feels that way again?”

“If there's one thing I've learned about love Mr. Barnes. It's to never give up hope, even if it seems there is none.” Erik commented as he put his arm around Charles' waist. “What Steven needs most right now, is his saviour of darkness.”


End file.
